So, I survived a week at my new job and you know, I feel a little more in control of what I need to do and how to do it. A little. Just a tiny bit. TINY. But, that's progress.
My poor husband. He just doesn't understand that when I came home on Day 2 and said "That's it, I'm going back to school next year to do something else. Forget this law thing" what I really meant was "Hey, I'm feeling scared and freaked and stuff and I need to vent my anxiety. All will be well tomorrow." Poor guy. He must be so confused. I need to write him a How-To manuel for decoding my various anxious words and states of mind.
Anyway, so the job is good and I'm adjusting to it all. And, today I got to eat some cake so I can't complain. Our niece turns two in a couple of days and her party was today so we had chocolate cake and ice cream. That will soothe most anxiety, at least for a few hours.
On another note, it's a funny thing about family birthday parties...they always make me so glad I am childfree by choice. Yup, that's right folks, I DO NOT WANT CHILDREN. Now, before you ask:
1. No, I don't hate kids.
2. No, I did not have a bad childhood that has forever turned me off having my own.
3. No, I am not infertile (that I know of).
4. No, I do not want to adopt.
5. No, my biological clock is not, and will not, be ticking. My biological clock is digital.
5. No, I will not change my mind. This one is always interesting to me because I am 30 years old. If someone was 30 and pregnant, no one would ever say to her "Oh, you'll change your mind." That would be beyond rude and weird, and yet everyone in the world feels free to tell it to me for my decision NOT to have kids.
It would help a lot if people would just understand that not everyone in the world is meant to parent. And by the way, just because two people are happily married professionals, own a home, and have a good life doesn't mean they'd "make the perfect parents!" There are plenty of yuppies out there abusing and neglecting their kids so do not go off of external factors to make such a pronouncement.
Oh and also, just because I happen to play well with children (I don't make them run with scissors) and I'm good with animals doesn't mean I want a child. Do not make stupid statements to me like "Oh, see you're holding a baby. You look so great with a baby, you've got to have one." No one ever says that to me when I'm having my picture taken with the orangutang at the zoo. I like orangutangs and probably look good holding them too, but that doesn't mean I want one in my house 24/7.
Where was I? Oh yeah, so family birthday parties always make me happy not to have children. The good kids are ok, it's the ones whose parents don't discipline them, are whiners, brats, and so on that make me want to tear my hair out. Seriously people, don't let your kid speak to you in a whine because that's just annoying for everyone within a two-mile radius. Teach your kids to say yes, no, please and thank you. If your child says to you "Mommy, get me some cake now" I'd suggest they get a swat on the ass and NO cake today, tomorrow, or for the foreseeable future until they can learn that mommy is not their slave.
Ok, so anyway, that's my rant/random thoughts for the day. Hope everyone out there is having a smashing Saturday:) We're having a storm here so I'm typing away, listening to the thunder, and making my grocery shopping list in my head.