Thursday, April 19, 2007

Into the Light

Today is one of those days where I realize that certain things in my life are not going to change because they require other people to do something that they just aren't going to do. Armed with this newfound insight, I've decided to stop waiting on said people to do what they say they are going to do and instead move forward with my own plans.

So often, we cajole, complain, argue, and cry at some person because they promise to do things and then they don't deliver. So we get upset and rail at them about how unfair they are being or whatever and then they say they will do whatever it is they promised to do really, they will do it this time. And then they don't. And the cycle repeats itself.

The important thing to understand here, whether you're dealing with a spouse, friend, family member, or boss who does this, is that you really do not have to wait on that person to get their act together before you can move forward with your own plans.

It's very liberating to realize that despite someone else's issues, you can still find your own way to happiness. You just have to let go of the injustice of their behavior. Because, at some point, it stops mattering what they do or don't do. What matters is what YOU do or don't do.

I was explaining this concept to a friend of mine today in regards to a relationship she is trying to get started. She doesn't understand why the man in question does some of the things he does. She's been dealing with this for months now. I told her that it doesn't matter why he does what he does. There's a certain fascination with understanding the behavior of people we are close to or want to be close to. We believe that if we can understand them, we can make something work. Well, not so. It is truly wasted effort to try and understand someone else's actions or lack thereof.

Do not waste your time trying desperately to get them to see the light. Instead, walk toward it yourself and step out into a new day.

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