Friday, May 11, 2007


I had two conversations today with two different women in two entirely different settings, yet the conversations had the same theme: women who are evil and catty. One of the ladies I spoke with told me stories of women she had known who swooped in to comfort men who were vulnerable. This wouldn't be a problem except the men were married at the time to someone else and yet the women had no issue with taking them away from their wife and children. This was true even when the same thing had happened to the interloper and she too had children. You'd think those people would have a special kind of empathy, but apparently not.

The second conversation was with a woman who said she did not have many female friends because women tend to be catty and she doesn't care for that kind of drama. I had to think about this and it occurred to me that there is much truth to this. I have good female friends in my life and none of them are catty. That is because I refuse to associate with that sort of person. Why would I want to? People who are catty, competitive, bitchy, or all-around unpleasant in their personality have no place in my life. I prefer to leave space in my life for friends who know what it means to be a friend.

The thing that struck me about both conversations was the experiences people have had with members of their own gender. It's hard being a woman, even with all the strides that have been made in the past 30 years. It would seem that we would band together and be supportive of one another, but quite often, we are not. There are all kinds of debates that rage within the female community: working moms vs. stay-at-home moms; pro-choice vs. pro-life; my child is better than your child because he/she walked, crawled, and learned to spell earlier. I could go on and on with the list of bitter splits among women.

Human nature is such that it invites competition and there's nothing wrong with challenging one another to be better. What is wrong is judging one another and participating in competition for the sake of internal security.

I've gotten rid of women in my life who have a need to be competitive, judgmental, or any shade of psychotic. It is not worth your time to participate in the drama that accompanies such relationships. Despite the Great Bard's pronouncement, all the world is not a stage to play out ridiculous drama. And if it is, I'd like to exit stage left.


Dauphyfan said...

Rooooowwwwrrrrrr...fffttt. Cattiness among women in workplace in is also very common. I will never forget one place that I worked...there was an unwritten rule that forbade any gossip to promote a more supportive environment and it worked wonders! If only we could harness that positive energy in our personal lives more often...:)

Shelby said...

you go girl - great post :)