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Thursday, August 21, 2008

The Observatory

Does anyone else think that life is just one big replay of high school...over and over and over, like it's stuck on some never-ending loop? A co-worker was talking to me today about some office politics going on and it occurred to me that no matter where you work or where you go, anytime there's more than one person involved, you can expect a replay of adolescence (because going through that hell once is just not enough).

Let's take any typical workplace or social group. Tell me you don't recognize at least one, and probably all, of these people:

The Jock: This is the macho guy who struts around like he owns the place. This guy talks about his accomplishments, throws around a wink or two at all the women, and uses phrases like "Hey girl, how are ya?" while patting you on the shoulder or some other place he shouldn't be touching.

The Drama Queen: For this unfortunate soul, every single thing that happens from a paper cut to a pink slip is cause for tears and/or an extremely exaggerated story of how she has been such an unwitting victim of some horrible tragedy. Yeah, it's just awful when the paper jumps right out of the copier tray and attacks your cuticles.

The Bitch: No other word suffices for this beauty. She's the one who scoffs at every idea and talks about everyone behind their backs while being oh so sweet to their face.

The Psycho: This guy has a weird eye twitch and you're fairly certain you saw him on America's Most Wanted once. He is paranoid about being fired, he furtively glances around him all the time, and is certain everyone is out to get him. There is not enough medication in the world for this guy and the next time you see him, it's probably going to be on a poster in the Post Office.

The Volunteer: "Hi, I'm Bimby, I'm head of the welcome committee, we're just SO glad you're here." This is generally accompanied by some bizarre shriek that is usually only heard on the nature shows or upon the discovery of a crime scene.

The Know-It-All: This guy fancies himself a walking Encyclopedia. No need to call a doctor, lawyer, dentist, IT person, or plumber, this guy can fix anything and everything. What he really does is throw a few key phrases around and turns this knob or presses that key all while trying to appear like he has it covered. If he can't figure it out, then it's just not built like it should be. That must be the answer because, after all, he knows it all.

Next time you are in a group somewhere, step back and observe. You will find these people there. I suppose we can all take comfort in the fact that some things never change. Whether you're in high school or the high rise office, it's all the same.

1 comment:

Dauphyfan said...

Soooo true! I especially love the drama queen description. =)