Sunday, June 13, 2010

Keeping your own counsel or, in plain terms, SHUT UP!

Here recently, I've given some thought to the idea that people just need to shut up. That statement can apply to people in so many ways so let me explain what I mean:

Keep your own counsel. I am sometimes amazed by the number of people who are unable to do this. Keeping your own counsel just means keeping your business/thoughts to yourself instead of blabbing everything to anyone who will listen and then wondering why your reputation/credibility has been trashed. There is nothing wrong with talking to friends or family or other trusted people about certain things, but what I am talking about is people who spread their lives EVERYWHERE, who tell people they are going to do things and then never do them. That just leads to trouble and should not be done.

For example, if you are planning on making a major life change such as going back to school, losing weight, moving somewhere, leaving a job, etc., it's a good idea NOT to tell everyone until you have plans in place or have made some progress toward the goal. The reason for this is because people will then expect you to complete the goal or at least be seriously working toward it.

They will ask you how things are going with the plans to return to school, to move, they will want to know how the diet is going, and so on. If you are a person who announces everything you are thinking of doing to the world via Facebook or what have you and you are the type who is all talk and no action, then you are going to have a serious problem with credibility at this point. No one will believe you're going to do anything and they will respond to all future proclamations with "Huh. Whatever."

You will have no credibility at all and no support from anyone for anything you really do eventually accomplish because you've already set yourself up for people to think you are just blowing hot air. AGAIN. 

It really is OK to keep things to yourself. Sometimes it's hard to do that when you're excited about something, but it's necessary, otherwise you will have issues like the ones I describe above. Don't do that to yourself. Find one or two trusted friends to talk to and share your plans with. You can also share any obstacles in the plans with those people, but for the love of all that is good and true, STOP sharing with the world.

It's surprising how much better you feel when you keep things to yourself until your plans are in place. It's so much easier for both you and your friends/family to get excited about something when it's already in the works as opposed to you just saying you're going to do something. Try it.


secret agent woman said...

I've always been amazed by women who announce that they are trying to get pregnant. Why? I a) didn't want people focused on my sex life and b) didn't want to deal with the "are you pregnant yet?" questions.

But I also have to laugh at the irony of a blogger talking about not revealing things. Isn't that just what we do? :-)

Lawfrog said...

I thought about the irony of a blogger revealing things. I see it differently - it's one thing to reveal one's thoughts on something or talk about something that interests you. That's what I do as a blogger. What I'm talking about is people who say they are going to do things and then don't do them. Or, tell their very personal business to anyone and everyone and then wonder why people have lost respect for them.

I know you understand what I'm talking about secret agent, but I'm clarifying what I feel the difference is for those who might not get that there is one. At least there is for me:)

And yes, I have to agree with you on the "trying to get pregnant" thing. That is just so odd. I don't know why anyone would want to reveal that.

Tennessee Wildflower said...
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Cherie-Claire said...

Thank true..

Jack Silverstone said...

Idea needs developing: 3 tools with which you create your experience; thought, speech, action. They need to be in concert. Or you create seriously confused experience. Structured faith understands this and guards against a free mouth.
Also, the real counsel you seek is with a deeper self and the only route to this is silence, which naturally emerges from stillness.
Let me know what you think.

Donna Wagoner said...

There is a proverb that says..a fool vents all his feelings but a wise man holds them back. I hadn't thought of the creditably part. Good thoughts!