Monday, December 6, 2010

Me too

I have heard many people say that blogs are a reflection of narcissism - that is, that people who write about their lives are wrapped up in themselves and looking for others to supply them with adoration, self-esteem, etc. Clearly, I do not believe this.

There are two big reasons that a lot of people write blogs in my opinion. First, it's because we need to purge our thoughts and feelings. We need to be heard if only through the screen. People in real life are often very bad about listening and being there for others. We are often told to "suck it up" and "other people have it worse" as if our trials and tribulations are "less than." Other people's suffering does not negate our own. And yet, we are often treated as though we are not allowed to feel badly about a loss or disappointment. Blogging allows us to purge those feelings of sadness, of loss, of loneliness, of "DAMN THIS SUCKS!" We all need that.

Second, I believe people write blogs because it's a way to know that we are not alone in our feelings, our losses, our disappointments. There are few people in real life to whom you can say "I feel sad and lonely. I am hurting." Most people, outside of therapists, have no idea how to react to that kind of statement. They get flustered and awkward because they don't know what to say. In the blog world, people take their time to compose comments to your feelings, comments of hope, love, and most of all, of connection. There is great comfort in hearing someone say "I understand" and then, in the rest of their comment, they go on to tell you exactly why they understand. And you know they do. You know they really, truly get it. There is such peace in knowing that.

There is also peace in knowing you are not alone. It is a joy to read a blog and say to yourself "Me too!" To realize how many times you have felt the way the blog writer is feeling, how many times you have hoped you are not alone in your feelings. And then, to read someone else so eloquently express what you have felt, what you have suffered with, what you have been hurt by...well, there is nothing better. I can only hope that my blog has done that for someone. Feeling understood, feeling accepted, feeling as though you are not a freak for what you think - those are powerful and soothing feelings.

 We don't know everyone who reads our blogs and we never will. But someone, somewhere in the world is reading and thinking about how our words have, in some way, soothed their loneliness, their pain. And we are doing the same when we read someone else's words that seem to speak directly to us. That is not narcissism, it is kindness.


S.I.F. said...

I can say that for me, writing a blog was a way to connect with other women who "got it"... Something that has seemed so rare in my real life...

Brandi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brandi said...

I 100% agree with this. It's nice to connect to others who are experiencing the same things that I am to some degree or another. And it's definitely a way to get some things off my chest in a constructive way.