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Saturday, April 9, 2011

LOL!

Stealing these from Maria at Just Eat Your Cupcake.


Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving 'til 5.
Sincerely,
The unicorns.

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic.

Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know. Let's Yahoo! it..." Just sayin'
Sincerely,
Google

Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?
Sincerely,
1985

Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea....Just kidding! They're all dead.
Sincerely,
BP

Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God

Dear jakdiekeleeleoehn,
Please e39je,emlfjdld
Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder

Dear Nickelback,
That's enough.
Sincerely,
The World

Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin.

Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere

Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman

Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
the Nail Salon Ladies.

Dear ugly people,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol

Dear Martin Luther King, Jr.
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream...What now?
Sincerely,
Leonardo Di Caprio

Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy, okay?
Sincerely,
The Mayans

Dear Snooki,
GET BACK TO WORK!
Sincerely,
Willy Wonka

Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans

Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User

Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP!! Where did you go?
Sincerely,
Terrified

Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up...
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore

Dear Man,
It's cute, but can't you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant

Dear Dr. Phil,
Listen there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first.
Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper

7 comments:

secret agent woman said...

The last one may be the best.

Maria said...

I like the google one the best. My favorite.

S.I.F. said...

Bwahahaha! The Twilight one killed me!!

Jill said...

LOVED it!! :D funny

cyclicalunemployment said...

Dear Time,

Nom, nom, nom.

Sincerely,
The Internet

Lawfrog said...

Cyclical,

I literally laughed out loud at that one. So very, very true. Time is quite often food for the Internet around my house. :)

TAG said...

Dear Elephant,

Glad you think it's cute.
Sadly, can not pick up peanuts with it.
But I can pick up women with it.
I win.

Man