Toadally Talking

GTFO Struggle!

2012-01-19T23:43:00.000-06:00

So much has been on my mind lately. I think it's a function of life having changed in many ways for me recently. I am finally done with school. Really and truly done. It amazes me sometimes to realize that I will never have to take another exam or write another school paper. School stress was such a regular part of my life that I didn't even think about it anymore. It was just the way things were. But now, without that weight on my shoulders, I realize just how heavy it was!

Maybe it's the new year, but my mind has recently been occupied with the need for change. The need to move forward. This applies to a lot of areas of my life. As an old friend of mine put it the other day, there is a time where you stop struggling in relationships, finances, jobs, and so on. And that feels good. Not to have to struggle, to worry, to be afraid. That really resonated with me because it is true. At almost 36 years old, I no longer have the time or energy to struggle. It has worn out its usefulness in terms of life lessons and learning patience. Struggling needs to exit the building forthwith!

Random thought from me tonight, but there you have it. I am going to try to blog more regularly this year so stay tuned for my witty repartee, my random observations, my boring recollections. It will all be here!

MLK Revisited

2012-01-16T16:27:00.000-06:00

I wrote this blog post last year on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and I decided to re-post it this year since I don't think I can do a better job of expressing my feelings than I have already done here.

MLK Day Blog 2011

2011

2012-01-01T00:09:00.000-06:00

2011 was a year that will not be soon forgotten in many ways. It was a difficult year, but one full of triumphs too. Without further ado, my year in review:

January - May: These were the hardest months for me. I was traveling over 100 miles a day several times a week to my practicum site, where I was being supervised by an incompetent and lazy psychologist. In March, I was finally able to move over to another site with amazing people so that made it easier, but I still had the long drive and I still had to deal with my crazy psychologist supervisor.

February: I turned 35 and I also realized that I had not submitted my application for graduation. I submitted it and was told I could not graduate with my class in May because I had submitted it too late. I fell into a deep depression during this month and had a hard time doing anything worthwhile. It just seemed like everything was hard. Thankfully, I was able to work with my school and get on the graduation roster for May.

March: One month until I had to take the comps exam for the second time. This was extremely stressful because if I did not pass the exam, I would have to re-take some classes and I would not graduate. I was studying with a couple of my classmates who also were re-taking. We talked on the phone and exchanged e-mail, assisting one another academically and emotionally. I am grateful and always will be for their support. Thank you Toi and Sarah!

April: I took the comps exam. I was literally sweating it. But, I made it. I passed! This was also the month when I was scrambling to finish my practicum hours because my incompetent supervisor had screwed me over the first couple of months of my practicum so I was behind. It was a race to the finish, but I made it with only a few days to spare before graduation.

May: Wow. This month was insane. INSANE. My mother came to visit me from Oregon for two weeks. My graduation was on May 14th. I had to hospitalize her on May 11th. She missed the graduation. This was so hard for her and for me too. She got out of the hospital on May 15th only to be hospitalized again on May 18th. It was horrible. I was staying with her at the hospital some nights so I was getting almost no sleep and the nights I was at home, I was worried about her. It was hard. My best friend of 17 years was on the phone with me all the way from Oregon several times during this month. Thank you Britt! You are my kindred spirit, my rock and my sister.

My mother was released from the hospital and returned to Oregon on May 23rd. This was after I had to hassle the airlines on the phone to change her ticket for her without charging me $600 to do so. Yes, they literally said they would charge me that much (which was more than the ticket price). I finally drove to the airport and worked with the ticket agents in person. They were much more reasonable than the customer (non) service reps on the phone and I got the ticket changed.

The same day my mother flew back to Oregon, I flew to Cozumel, Mexico where I was to meet up with my father. Well, he missed his flight from San Antonio (I was going out of Houston). When he called to say he had missed the flight, I took it in stride because really? This whole month had sucked so whatever. I made it to Cozumel and he arrived the next day. It was all good.

June - July: These were deliciously, wonderfully quiet months. THANK GOD! I was so grateful to be able to sleep and breathe. It felt like I hadn't done either of those things in a long time. I started working out again on a regular basis and got my eating habits on a healthier path.

August: A second trip to Cozumel found me in a much better place than the first trip. I was able to relax a lot easier and enjoy the time with my Dad. I took an introduction to scuba diving class and loved it. We shopped, we ate, we relaxed, we dove. It was wonderful!

September: I took my National Counselor Examination (NCE) this month. I had been studying for it for a couple of months, but really kicked into high gear the first week of September. I took it on Sept. 12th and passed it.

October - November: These were also quiet months and I felt like I needed that since taking the NCE.

November: I returned to Cozumel with my Dad for the third time and got certified as a scuba diver. That was a great experience and I had a wonderful time on the trip. I spent Thanksgiving with Dad in San Antonio and it was a good meal and a relaxed atmosphere. Loved it.

December: Dad and I booked our first trip of 2012 to Cozumel. We will be going in February. Dad came to see me in Houston for Christmas and we had a nice dinner with two dear friends of mine. It was a good time. This is also the month I had three dental appointments to fix issues that had built up in the nine years since I last went to the dentist. This is also the month my mother had her first surgery for Melanoma. She will have a second one in January.

What a year! Bring it on 2012!

Tooth Time, Kid Time, Party Time!

2011-12-12T20:23:00.000-06:00

It's been awhile since I posted. Life has been crazy the past few months and I am desperately trying to find my footing. I have had so much to do and it's just been a whirlwind of daily activity around here. I am looking for a job, but I am also trying to complete all of those little life tasks that get shoved to the back burner.

One of those back burner tasks became a front burner one this month. I went to the dentist for the first time in 9 years. Now, before anyone gets on my case, understand that I brush and floss on a regular basis AND that I did not have dental insurance for quite awhile. The dentist told me that given the amount of time I'd been absent from the dentist's office, things weren't too bad. I had five cavities and was in need of a crown on a tooth I had broken sometime ago. Unfortunately, that tooth will eventually need to be extracted, my sinus cavity moved up, and a bone graft done to make way for an implant. However, that is not something that I need to do right now so the dentist will crown it to give me a few more years without that kind of major dental work. I go back on Dec. 27th to have the crown placed on the tooth.

Other than that, the Christmas thing is in full swing. I do not do a lot of gift buying in general because I cannot afford it, but I buy some gifts so I've been checking those off the list. I've also been running errands and purchasing a few needed items for myself. Every day, I think of something else I need to add to the list of things to get so I've been at the store quite often in the past couple of weeks, but I pretty much have what I need now.

The downside to doing all those running around is not getting to see the people you love as much as you want to. So, to remedy that situation, I made a date last Friday to hang with a dear friend and her two kiddos, who I love more than life itself. They have me wrapped around their little fingers and they know it! They are well-behaved most of the time (way better than any other child I've seen) and they are just too sweet and cute for words. So happy to be able to spend time with them and their awesome mom!

This week, I have a company Christmas party to attend. I was invited to the annual Christmas party of the company that I do tech writing for. I haven't worked with them since May, although it's possible I will do more work for them in the coming year (we will see what they need), so I thought it was very nice of them to invite me to the Christmas party. I do contract work for them and have since 2008. I love this company and the people who work there, they are all people I would choose to have as friends and co-workers if I could.

Hope your holidays are shaping up to be wonderful and fun!

Doing Business

2011-11-13T18:29:00.004-06:00

So Christmas, Hanukkah, and other gift-giving occasions will soon be upon us! Therefore, it is time for me to pimp out a couple of my friends who own businesses and make awesome stuff that would be perfect for gifts!

Bunnyfeet Boutique: Shoes, cloth diapers, diaper covers, and more! Check it out here: http://www.bunnyfeetboutique.com/store/

Mermaid Bliss by Atlantis: Organic salt and sugar scrubs with wonderful scents!
Basic Salt or Sugar Scrubs
8oz. = $10.00
16oz. = $20.00

Bath Salts
8oz. = $10.00
16oz. = $20.00

Sugar Scrubs made with Coconut Oil:
8 oz. = $15.00
16 oz. = $25.00

Holiday scents are Sugar Plum and Apple Cinnamon. There are a variety of scents available and Atlantis can make whatever scent you want!

CONTACT FOR INFORMATION AND TO ORDER: atlantiscoral@yahoo.com

Post-Vacation Blues

2011-11-11T17:55:00.000-06:00

Feeling a bit of the post-vacation blues. I miss the calm pace and worry-free environment of Cozumel. This last trip marked my sixth time there and I never get tired of it. It's such a beautiful place and I always have fun there. I am already looking forward to our next trip.

In the meantime, I am catching up on life at home. I have some bills to pay and some errands to run. I did a good portion of those today so tomorrow I will just be getting a hair cut and doing some laundry. Pretty basic stuff. I did put our underwater disposable camera into development today and we should have it back by Wednesday. Can't wait to see those pictures.

The most difficult task ahead of me right now is the job hunt. I continue to search for work in my new profession as a therapist. It's not easy, but I know that God has something out there just for me. I only need to keep looking and keep praying about it.

Cozumel - Day 6: Last Day in Paradise

2011-11-09T23:38:00.002-06:00

Today was our last day in Cozumel. We made it a relatively easy one. We got up and had breakfast, sat at the table and enjoyed the scenery for awhile, and then went back to our rooms for a short nap before heading out.

Our first stop was the cruise ship terminal where several shops are located. We did a little window shopping mostly, but did not buy anything. Everything there is priced double, and sometimes triple, what it is in the downtown shopping area. The shopkeepers at the terminal assume everyone just got off the boat (in more ways than one), but since we've been here several times, we are pretty savvy about the best places to purchase souvenirs and such.

After the window shopping, we got a cab and headed to Chankanaab Park. We walked around looking at Mayan statues and then saw the seal show. That was a lot of fun. The seals are so cute!

We then relaxed in front of the beach for awhile before taking a cab to Palmeras for our last supper. I had a huge rib eye steak and Dad had the chicken. Both excellent meals! We did a little shopping and then headed back to the hotel where we napped again (love vacation naps!) before heading to the hotel restaurant for some dessert. We hung out there for awhile enjoying the scenery and chatting. Now we're back in our rooms getting things packed up in preparation for leaving tomorrow. We're already planning our next diving trip to Mexico to help with the post-vacation depression.

Cozumel - Day 5: An Absolute Wreck

2011-11-08T21:07:00.003-06:00

Dad and I were up early this morning so we could get a good breakfast in before we headed out to dive this afternoon. After breakfast, we came back to our rooms. I took a nap and then got ready to go under the sea!

We headed out on the boat to the first dive site, which was a ship wreck at about 70 feet down. I have a very hard time with equalization and it is extraordinarily painful for me during the initial descent so I went slow this time and just kept telling myself that it would stop hurting. And it did.

In order to help me in my descent, the dive master had me grab on to a rope that was tied to the ship so I could inch my way down while still equalizing my ears. I got to where I wanted to be and let go of the rope, at the same time feeling a stinging sensation in my left hand. Something had caused an allergic reaction on my hand and a couple of welts appeared almost immediately. It was no problem though, I continued on with the dive and now, several hours later, the welts have disappeared.

The ship was very interesting! Dad and I explored the outside and then headed inside to see the different compartments. It was really fascinating. We saw a couple of huge crabs on this dive as well as some eels and other general sea life.

After that dive, we headed back to the boat and to the dock at our hotel where we took a 15-minute break. We then headed out to the second dive site, which was just a short ride from our hotel dock. This was amazing because it was full of colorful sea sponges and fish. I really enjoyed it after once again going through the tremendous pain of equalization.

We finished up the dive and headed back to our hotel where we showered and changed clothes then grabbed some dinner at the hotel restaurant and just relaxed. I had filet mignon, which they served to me without cooking it in the middle so I had to send it back. That was OK though because once it was properly cooked, it was delicious! It was the largest filet mignon I have ever seen so I got a good meal. Plus, I had a banana split for dinner. This was a rather decadent food evening for me.

Dad and I will head out tomorrow to Chankanaab Park, where we will relax and explore the park, take some pictures, and do some shopping. It's our last day on the island so we are making it an easy one.

Cozumel - Day 4: Being Tested

2011-11-07T19:49:00.001-06:00

Dad and I slept in a bit this morning and then headed to breakfast. We were both feeling a little nervous since we had to take the respective exams for our Scuba Diving certification. Mine was for certification in general, Dad's was more advanced. He was taking a Nitrox course. We studied a little bit at the table and then headed over to take the tests. We both passed! I am officially certified as a scuba diver now!!

After the test, we hung out in our rooms for a bit and then headed over to swim with the dolphins! I had done it twice before, but Dad had never done it. We were the only two people signed up for that time slot so we got a lot of attention from the dolphin crew. So much fun! We got a DVD and some pictures of our swim. The photo to the right is Dad with one of the dolphins.

By the time we were done swimming with the dolphins, we were hungry so we walked to Palmeras, one of our favorite restaurants. We both had BBQ chicken and it was delicious! I splurged and had a brownie with ice cream and whipped cream on top. SO GOOD! We decided to take a cab back to the hotel because I still had my wet swimsuit on and I wasn't wearing shoes that were conducive to the long walk back.

Tomorrow, we will sleep late and then have a leisurely breakfast before heading out on two dives. We will be seeing a reef and an airplane wreck site. I am so excited as these will be my first outings as a certified scuba diver. I've been on dives before as part of my training, but now I don't have to worry about the training, I can just enjoy it. Can't wait!

This time with my father in Cozumel has been wonderful. I cannot express how blessed I feel to have a father who parents me when I need it, but is always my friend too. Love my Dad!

Cozumel - Day 3: Scuba Girl

2011-11-06T22:39:00.000-06:00

Sunday

Today, Dad and I rose bright and early to have breakfast at 7 a.m. After breakfast, we headed upstairs to suit up for the morning of diving we had planned. Wet suits and gear ready, we headed downstairs to the dive shop where we waited for the dive master and boat crew to arrive. I laid in the hammock on the beach for a few minutes, which was very relaxing.

Once the crew arrived, things kicked into high gear and we got on the boat along with 9 other people who were also diving. We rode in the boat out to the dive site. The ride took a long time and I closed my eyes, feeling the breeze, and enjoying the moment. Finally, we were at the dive site. I am completing my scuba diving certification so the dive master gave me instructions for the two tests I would need to do in the water and then it was time to go under the waves!

We began descending. This is not my favorite part of the dive because it is incredibly painful for me. My ears have a hard time with the pressure and the pain is incredible. It literally makes me want to cry. That lasts for about a minute or so and then my ears equalize and I am OK. I got through the pain and completed my two training exercises. Then, it was time to just enjoy the dive. Dad and I took some pictures with a disposable underwater camera. I will get those developed when I return to Houston. We are hoping they come out well because we took some fun shots. We were about 60 feet down. It is so neat to be under the water, looking at the fish, seeing the coral and the life within the ocean. We saw a turtle floating and it was an amazing site!

After that dive, we headed back to the boat. I rubbed my eye to get the water out of my face and my contact lens popped out of my eye. I put it back in right there in the water. It's a talent, what can I say? LOL! I got on the boat and we collected the other divers and then headed to our second dive sight. I spent a good portion of that ride talking to a woman from Yakima, Washington. Since I am originally from Oregon, I always like to chat with the Pacific Northwesterners. There was also a guy on the boat who was from Eugene, Oregon, home to University of Oregon, my alma mater. You just never know who you're going to meet in foreign countries!

At the second dive site, I put on my BCD and it kept inflating and deflating on its own. Very mysterious. It was squeezing the life out of me on the boat. Once I was in the water, it was no problem. Not sure what was going on there as that should not happen. Anyway, the second dive was all about enjoying the scenery because I was done with my training tasks. It was a fun dive with more interesting ocean life to view.

The second dive was the last one of the day. Dad and I were dropped off at our hotel dock and we rinsed our equipment then headed to our rooms for much needed showers and a small nap. We then headed out to Casa Denis, where the best fajitas in the world are served! Dinner was excellent. We walked around the town square, did a little shopping, and then headed to a wonderful little ice cream shop. We went back to the square from there and enjoyed the Sunday night festival the town holds. Some nice music was playing and a gentle breeze was blowing. The perfect ending to a perfect day! Now back at the hotel and getting ready for tomorrow, which will include the scuba diving test I have to take and swimming with the dolphins!

Cozumel - Day 1/2: Arrival

2011-11-05T22:36:00.003-05:00

Hello from Cozumel, Mexico! Dad and I arrived here on Friday morning. We settled in our rooms and then headed to the dive shop (Babieca Dive Center) at the El Cid, where we always stay. We got my scuba diving certification class scheduled and Dad's Nitrox class scheduled and then we headed to the hotel restaurant for a leisurely lunch. We spent the rest of the day/evening at the hotel just hanging out and reading our manuals for our classes.

SATURDAY

We started the day early with breakfast at 7 a.m. We hung around and chatted until 8:30 or so and then I got ready for my first scuba diving class at 9. I was the only student in the class and I learned about the equipment and how to make sure it's put together and in working order. Then, we moved to the swimming pool to practice some of the things I needed to know. I had a hard time clearing my mask and took in a lot of chlorine as well as did a lot of coughing. But, the instructor was patient and I finally got the hang of it.

We then moved to the ocean. Cozumel water is so incredibly beautiful, it's a blue color that I cannot do justice to with words. I practiced some of the things I had learned in the pool and swam around looking at stuff. It was interesting and fun! Dad showed up and we sat with the instructor on the beach and learned to use the dive tables. Then Dad did a shore dive while I snorkeled.

After that, we took a walk into town and had Subway sandwiches. We walked back to our hotel from town. The walk to/from town took about 35-40 minutes each way. It was a nice walk with a cool breeze blowing. Dad and I chatted about this and that. Upon our return to the hotel, we had a fruit plate for dessert in the hotel restaurant. The fruit plates are AMAZING! They have all kinds of different fruit - banana, watermelon, mango, plums and they come with a scoop of lime sherbet ice cream. A perfect after dinner treat.

We headed up to our rooms and Dad hung out with me for awhile looking at different things on the computer. Then the chocolate lady showed up. This woman works for the hotel and delivers chocolate around 7 p.m. every night. Yesterday, it was Hershey's Almond Kisses. Tonight it was not chocolate, but rather peanut butter circles. They were good, but when you're expecting chocolate, it's a disappointment not to get it. SO...we headed to the hotel shop and bought some chocolate. There's just no substitute people!

Tomorrow, Dad and I will continue with our classes in the morning and will go out on two deeper dives. We will likely be diving about 60 feet. My ears really, really dislike the water pressure. It's extraordinarily painful, but I keep working at equalizing and of course, that helps.

More reports from the vacation front tomorrow. Have a great night everyone!

Cold, Cozumel, Clear Water

2011-10-29T19:10:00.000-05:00

I have a cold. I hate having a cold. I can handle natural disasters and death. I am good in a crisis. I come through for anyone, anytime no matter what is going on. But if I have a cold or the flu, I shut down. I whine, I complain, I moan. I hate the way it just completely stops my life because I can't breathe and I feel so exhausted.

The upside to it all is that I got the cold now, which means that in a few days I will be feeling much better. This is a good thing because in a few days, I will be in Cozumel, Mexico once again!! I am SO excited! My Dad and I are heading south once more for a few days of rest and relaxation in one of our favorite travel destinations. This is the third time we've been this year (previously went in May and August) and this will be my sixth time there total. I went once in 2004 when I stayed for 7 days, twice on cruises in 2008 when I was there for just one day, and then the previous two times this year when I stayed for several days. I love Cozumel! I don't know what it is about that place, but it's one of my very favorite cities. It's so laid back and relaxing. The water is an unbelievable color, so blue and refreshing.

I will be getting certified as a scuba diver. My father was certified earlier this year and will take some advanced courses while we're there. We're also going to go horseback riding and swim with the dolphins. We're both really looking forward to diving together and having fun. I love my Dad and I am so blessed that in my adulthood, we are not only father/daughter, but also friends. We love hanging out together. The same is true for my mother and me. I am grateful for that.

I'll be sending regular blog reports from Cozumel just like I did last time so for all those who want to know the goings-on down south, you can read all about it here!

Random Continuation

2011-10-21T20:46:00.000-05:00

Continuing with the random thoughts because I am just feeling random these days:

I sometimes wonder how porn stars answer the question "What do you do?" I think the most succinct answer there would be "Everyone."

I've recently come across a couple of products that I think are awesome so I am going to share these finds with all of you:

1. Degree Deodorant Motion Sense. My gym was giving out free travel-sized samples of this. I took one home and tried it. Wow, this stuff really works. I took it with me to Cozumel and it kept working even after I walked miles in the humidity and general heat.

2. Skintimate Shaving Gel Signature Scents. This stuff is great because I never cut myself when I use it and it smells terrific.

I recently found a great documentary site. I love documentaries and I am always thrilled when I can watch them for free online. The site is Documentary Storm. I am currently watching a documentary about Body Dysmorphia - Voluntary Amputation. It's about people who are perfectly healthy, but believe their leg(s) do not belong on their body and they want to have them amputated. Interesting stuff particularly for me as a psychology nut...so to speak.

Complete and Total Randomness

2011-10-05T19:48:00.003-05:00

So the purging/donating has continued and I have made some great progress at shedding a whole lot of stuff that does not fit my life in more ways than one. Score one for me!

Amanda Knox was released from prison this week. I think that was the right decision. I find it sad that she will never again be able to enjoy Olive Garden without suffering from PTSD. I don't get why people called her "Foxy Knoxy." She's not ugly, but I'm not seeing the "foxy" thing either. She seems like a regular girl to me in terms of looks. Not ugly, not foxy. Just normal.

This evening, I was lying in bed getting ready for a short nap and it hit me just how hard it is when you really miss someone, but can't see them for awhile. I hate that feeling.

I always think it's really weird on TV shows and such when women whose husbands are cheating on them confront the mistress and/or kill the other woman (see Murder, She Wrote; several episodes of Snapped, etc.). Really? The other woman is not your problem ladies, your problem is the cheating husband. If you're going to kill someone, kill him. LOL!

I don't understand people on Facebook who have to turn a joke post into something serious. For example, I once posted something making fun of customers who are dumb and said something like "My friends who work in customer service will appreciate this." And someone came along and posted a huge missive about how customer service people can sometimes suck too, etc. Geeze people, just let the joke be a joke and move on, OK?

On the same note, I don't understand people who must post on Facebook on topics where their opinion is not wanted or necessary. The example here would be someone who is posting a Christian verse and one of their atheist friends comes along and starts to argue the merits of said verse.

This works in reverse as well. It's not necessary for Christian friends (or insert whatever belief system, opinion, etc. here) to try and convince atheists that they are wrong for their beliefs. The Christian verse and/or atheist discussion does not need to be infiltrated by those who disagree. Let your friends have their belief systems (or non-belief systems) or whatever. It's really OK for someone to think differently than you do and it is really OK not to comment on it. People seem to have this desperate need to defend their beliefs even when it isn't necessary or warranted. Get some self-esteem, be OK with believing in your own stuff and MOVE ON!

That's it for now.

Ruthless Donating

2011-09-21T01:46:00.000-05:00

Lately, I have been on a purge and donate kick. I just cannot stand having so much stuff anymore. It's useless to me if it's sitting in a box buried in a closet or even if it's out in the open, but not being used. Thus, I decided that it was time to be ruthless and begin purging and donating.

I started with clothes. I am not a clothes horse, I never have been. I am a jeans and T-shirt girl. Still, I could not believe all the clothing I owned. It is totally ridiculous for one person to own that many night shirts, T-shirts, belts that I haven't worn in who knows how long, shoes that I will never wear, and so on. I filled a large Rubbermaid bin with clothes as well as a few other miscellaneous items, but mostly clothes. It felt SO good to get rid of the things that I am not ever going to use.

That was last week. This week, I am working on my books. I am an avid reader and I always have been. I cannot remember a time when I didn't love books and didn't own several shelves full of them. But again, this is an area where it was time to be ruthless. I sorted through the books putting a few in the donation pile and selling some on Amazon.com or half.com. I listed others on paperbackswap.com or bookmooch.com. I've already gotten rid of several books using those sites.

I still have some books to sort through and that will be a project for the morning. I will also begin sorting through some miscellaneous items I have that are small, but need to be pared down. I am loving the new, free feeling I am getting from all of this purging/donating.

Meme - Random

2011-09-15T20:45:00.001-05:00

Stolen from Maria who stole it from Jason:

1. Using what's in your fridge right now, what sort of meal would you be able to make for guests who are knocking on your door this very minute?

Probably scrambled eggs with cheese or omelets, although the guests would have to make it themselves since I am not a cook by any stretch of the imagination. Even simple cuisine is beyond my skill level.

2. What is something about yourself that you hope you will change but probably never will?

My inability to have a normal relationship with food. I was never taught the principles of good nutrition when I was a child. My mother has been overweight my entire life and food was always a source of comfort. I am now trying to learn to eat for life sustainability and not pleasure/comfort. Not an easy task.

3. What is something about yourself that you hope will never change?

My love of learning. I am a very curious person and I enjoy reading, watching documentaries, and learning new things about a variety of subjects. I hope that love of knowledge will never change.

4. Do you usually send serious or funny greeting cards. Why?

It depends on the person. I will give funny cards to those who I know could use a laugh and/or have a sense of humor that appreciates such cards. I send serious ones to those who need the comfort or joy that a serious card can bring. It really is very person specific.

5. Bird watching, shell gathering or star gazing--your choice for whiling away the hours.

Shell gathering is something I miss. I used to live a very short walk from the Pacific Ocean and I remember gathering neat looking shells on the shore while listening to the waves.

6. Do you double or triple check things? If so, what?

I will double check to make sure I turned off the dryer before leaving the house. I have a thing about the dryer being on when I am not here (the washer too, actually). I also double check locks occasionally, but not that often.

7. What's your favorite place for people watching?

Airports. People from all over the world going to places all over the world are very interesting to see.

8. Insert your own random thoughts here:

I am grateful to live in a first-world country where medical care and the luxury items of life are readily available anytime. It does not escape me that I am lucky and blessed to

have the life that I have.

Anyone wanna try this one?

Pass!

2011-09-12T18:11:00.003-05:00

I PASSED THE NATIONAL COUNSELOR EXAMINATION (NCE)!

The relief is unbelievable. I took the exam this afternoon and I must admit that I was concerned. This exam marks the very last time I will ever take a major licensing/academic test. I spent the last couple of weeks scared to death that I would not pass it. I studied hard in the last week or so and I really felt that I just wasn't going to be able to remember the things I needed to know. There was so much information. I had two classmates/friends who took it in August and they were both very helpful in suggesting study strategies and so on. Still, once you get into the exam room, it's just you and the test.

I did not sleep well last night. I even took a sleeping pill, but it did not help. It made me groggy, but not enough to sleep. The anxiety was overtaking sleep. I got up this morning and did some last minute studying. Then, I bought a Code Red Mountain Dew and began driving to the testing center, which was about 15 miles away. I drink Mountain Dew only once a month and today was the day for it. I arrived at the testing center and had to wait about 30 minutes before I could go in. I did some studying in the car and then, it was time.

The test is administered at H&R Block offices. I don't know why, but it is. Anyway, I sat down and began the exam. It is 200 multiple choice questions administered via computer. I did not know the answer definitively to the first several questions and I started to get concerned. Several more questions in and I was sure I was not going to pass. There were a lot of questions on Research and Statistics, which is my worst area so that was not helping. As I continued on in the exam, I realized that I did know the answer definitively to a lot of the questions so I started to have some hope. That hope went up and down as the exam went on. I was exhausted so that did not help matters.

Finally, I finished the questions and began to go back over the ones I had skipped because I was unsure of the answers. Upon the second glance at them, I realized that I was fairly certain of the answers. Even the Research and Statistics questions I had skipped were making sense. It pays to skip what you don't know and return to it later.

I decided to go through all my answers just to double check. About 20 questions in, I was so tired that I realized I wasn't going to make it through all of them so I gave it to God and pressed the button to end the exam. Once you do that, they force you to take a 15-question survey about the exam conditions before they will print your exam results. BASTARDS!! I am certain that qualifies as cruel and unusual punishment. The results print out at a printer near the front and only the examinee is allowed to see them. I went up and collected my results. I was scared to death to turn it over to see what it said, but once I did and I saw that beautiful word, PASS, on the top...the relief was unreal!!

I have been in school for a very long time. I have two B.A. degrees, one M.A., and a J.D. (law degree). I relate this not to brag, but so you can understand why this exam was particularly poignant for me. It is the very last time I will ever take a school/licensing exam. That is a strange feeling because, with the exception of only a couple of years here and there, I have been preparing for exams since I was 17 years old. I am 35 now so given the years off from school now and again, that is nearly half my life. I am thrilled, relieved, and excited to truly be done. Since I was 17, I have taken:

1. SAT (college entrance exam)

2. Entrance exam for the professional journalism school at the University of Oregon.

3. LSAT (Law School Admission test)

4. MPRE (Multistate Professional Responsibility Exam). This is the ethics portion of the bar exam, administered separately from the bar usually in the second year of law school.

5. The Bar Exam. That just speaks for itself.

6. Comprehensive exam for my M.A.

7. NCE (National Counselor Examination).

And folks...WE ARE DONE!

Corner of Blog Awesomeness and Bombdiggity

2011-09-04T17:05:00.001-05:00

I want to highlight three of the blogs I follow because they are just so awesome they deserve to have everyone reading them. I follow some great blogs in general, but these three are really great and I think everyone should be reading them. Now, in no particular order, here are blogs you better be reading as soon as you finish this post:

First up, Thank, Q! If you're not reading Thank, Q you are missing out! His posts are thoughtful, funny, interesting, and always thought provoking. Head over and get caught up then thank me and Thank, Q!

Second, AmericanBridget(Jones). I just started reading this blog and it is great! I really enjoy her posts, particularly about the jungle that is the dating world.

Third, Fourth Grade Nothing. This blog is a recap of the author's memories of items and life through the 70s, 80s, and 90s. Visiting this blog is like going back in time to the best years of life as a kid.

Desperately seeking...Cozumel?

2011-08-28T22:50:00.000-05:00

Lately, I have found it rather interesting how people get to my blog. The terms they use to search that land them here are funny sometimes. I use Feedjit to monitor the traffic to my blog and people from all over the world are stopping by. Here are the most popular blog posts recently and some of the terms used to search that got people here:

1. By far, the most popular blog post is Hola Cozumel. People land on that one most often by searching for Cozumel and Cozumel images.

2. The second most popular blog is Keeping your own counsel or, in plain terms, SHUT UP! This one is most often found by a search for the term "Keep your own counsel."

3. Recently, this post has generated some interest: Clear Lake is a bit muddy. Someone in Missouri found that post by searching for "Clara Harris, Texas Dentist, Lisa, cheating woman."

I find it interesting that people from all over the world are randomly landing on my blog. I have had visitors from Macedonia, Italy, Germany, the UK, the U.S., Greece, Mexico, France, Hungary, India, and various other world locales. Thank you all for visiting my blog and please feel free to comment or come back anytime! I love hearing from people in different parts of the world and of course, from the U.S. too.

Documented!

2011-08-22T22:12:00.000-05:00

I love learning new things. I know a little about a lot of eclectic things. One of the ways I learn things is by watching documentaries. I really enjoy documentaries on a variety of subjects. Lately, I've been watching quite a few documentaries on Netflix and I want to share some of the more interesting ones. I am sure I will have more at a later time, but for now here are four that I have recently enjoyed.

UNFORGOTTEN: 25 YEARS AFTER WILLOWBROOK: An expose of the Willowbrook State School where developmentally delayed children were placed in New York. The school closed, but some of the wounds inflicted there never did. Watch this before Cropsey as Cropsey has a lot of connection with Willowbrook. This can be viewed on Hulu as well as Netflix.

CROPSEY: The story of children who were kidnapped and murdered in Staten Island, New York. A man by the name of Andre Rand was arrested for one of the murders and tried for another. This is a fascinating look at the crimes and the man who was accused of them.

THE VACCINE WAR: An interesting view on both sides of the vaccine debate in America. People on both sides discuss the issues related to vaccinating children or not doing so and what that means for the families and the public at large.

THE MEDICATED CHILD: Psychiatric drugs are being prescribed to younger and younger children in large numbers. What does this mean for the children, for society, and for the pharmaceutical companies making these drugs?

Both The Vaccine War and The Medicated Child can be viewed on Frontline on PBS.

7 Days on the Island - Part II

2011-08-13T21:21:00.002-05:00

Continuing on with our Adventures in Cozumel:

Thursday - I actually got out of bed before 9 a.m. to have breakfast with Dad in preparation for our afternoon scuba trip. We then returned to our rooms where we both napped until around 11:30 and then I got ready for scuba diving. We headed down to the dock to get on the boat and met the people who would be accompanying us. They all seemed very nice. This was only my second time diving and it was quite an experience.

The dive master was really great and my Dad was on the dive of course so that helped too. We went down about 60 feet and I thought my head was going to explode with the pressure in my ears at some points. OUCH!! But then it equalized and everything was basically OK. Saw some great fish and wildlife in general, really neat stuff. Dad and the rest of the group did a second dive and I just hung around on the boat, reading, relaxing, and watching the water. It was a nice way to spend an afternoon. Dad and I then headed to Casa Denis where we had fajitas. It's our favorite place in Cozumel for fajitas. DELICIOUS!

We returned to the hotel and decided to book our final two excursions. We decided on an ATV ride through the jungle for Friday and parasailing on Saturday. We were both looking forward to these activities.

Friday: Dad and I had breakfast early and he did some paperwork for his advanced diving certification. I took a nap and we headed over to Margaritaville to meet the group doing the ATV rides. We took a taxi to the ATV place where I was introduced to Petra the Python who I put around my neck. She was quite friendly. There were also parrots, an eagle, and a lizard that we met before getting on the ATVs.

Dad and I shared an ATV. We had decided prior to going that I would drive. Dad was a terrible backseat driver, but we had a lot of fun! The road we traveled down was full of dust, mud, and rocks, but it was quite a ride. We stopped at a cenote, which is a sacred Mayan sinkhole. We also saw some underground caves that the Mayans used when hurricanes would hit the island. It was very interesting.

After the ATV adventure, Dad and I headed into town where we collected two non-alcoholic margaritas at Margaritaville (they were free as part of the ATV tour package), did a little shopping and then went to Palmeras for dinner. I had steak and he had chicken. I love Palmeras and I try to eat there at least once when I am in Cozumel. Dad had never eaten there and he loved it too! We headed back to the hotel where I took a much needed shower and relaxed.

Saturday: We woke up and had an early breakfast and I took a nap before we headed down to the dock to wait for the parasailing crew. We had scheduled for 2 p.m. and by 2:30, we were a little concerned since the tour crews are almost never late. Finally, I went back to the room and called the company. They apologized and said the boat captain was on his way. The boat finally came at 3 p.m. and picked us up. We were with a group of six people. Two of them were a brother/sister duo who had been parasailing before. They went first and unfortunately, both of them got a bit of motion sickness. I felt badly for them because the boat captain would not take them back to their hotel dock.

Finally, it was my turn to go and I must admit that I was scared. I have a huge fear of heights and I knew that I would be going up at least 100 feet so the prospect was frightening. But, I also think it's good for me to try and overcome my fear of heights so every few years I do something to spit in the face of the fear like parasailing or riding a roller coaster.

They strapped me into the harness and away I went into the sky. IT WAS AMAZING!! I was not afraid at all, it was just a beautiful time in the sky, looking down at the water, feeling the breeze. My Dad went after I did and he really enjoyed it as well.

After parasailing, we made our way to Palmeras once again where we had a delicious dinner. We did a little shopping after that and then returned to the hotel.

We leave tomorrow. I have had such an amazing time here in Cozumel as always and I cannot wait to return!

7 Days on the Island - Part I

2011-08-12T20:44:00.003-05:00

My Dad and I have been in Cozumel, Mexico since Monday, Aug. 8th. We had previously been here in May so Dad could go scuba diving. He is a certified diver and Cozumel has some of the best diving in the world so he wanted to check it out. I love Cozumel and have been several times before so he invited me to tag along in May and then again this week. This time, we opted for a longer stay. In May, we stayed for four days, this time we were here for seven. It has been such a wonderful trip and I wanted to chronicle it for my own memories and to share with y'all.

Monday: Flew from Houston to Cozumel. It's about a two-hour flight. We arrived in Cozumel and got settled at our hotel around 3p.m. We are staying at the El Cid, which is the same hotel we had the last time we were here. It's a nice place and I really enjoy it. Monday was a rest day, we went to the hotel restaurant and had an early dinner then I bought some water and ice cream at the hotel shop. It was an early bedtime, which was good for me because I was tired.

Tuesday: I slept in, while Dad went on his first dive of the trip. It was a navigation class for him to refresh some of what he learned in his scuba diving certification course and to prepare him for the advanced classes he was going to take on Wednesday and Thursday. I got up around noon and got ready for my Discover Scuba class. I had never been scuba diving and it was AMAZING! Dad went along with my group of five people and we had such a great time. It is incredible to me that humans have figured out how to breath underwater and see all the amazing life beneath the waves.

After the dive, Dad and I returned to our rooms, showered and changed, and headed once again to the hotel restaurant. It's great food down there! We had a nice leisurely dinner and chatted, then came back to the room to look up information on our next adventures, which were parasailing and horseback riding...not at the same time though. LOL! We chatted some more and then Dad returned to his room. I watched the boats on the water from my balcony and listened to the guitar player downstairs. It was all very, very relaxing.

Wednesday - Dad woke up early for his 100-foot dive. I slept in and then Dad returned and we headed to town for shopping and some Subway sandwiches. We decided to eat light today! The walk to Subway took about 45 minutes. We try to get in some exercise while we are on vacation, but that was a killer walk! It was very hot and we were both drenched in sweat by the time we got there.

After eating at Subway and taking a rest, we did a little shopping. I found the cutest bag, some t-shirts, postcards, and a hat for the scuba diving boat ride tomorrow. Dad and I returned to the hotel where I had a banana split for dessert. It was heavenly. We then decided on taking an ATV ride through the jungle on Friday and booked it instead of horseback riding since we rode horses the last time we were here. ATVing through the jungle sounds like a blast and I am looking forward to it!

STAY TUNED FOR PART II!

Go, Go, Go...STOP!

2011-07-24T20:41:00.002-05:00

So the last couple of months have been weird. Well, not really weird, more of a transition period. Beginning in June of last year, my life was on fast forward. I started my first (of three) practicums (practical training for the M.A. degree for those who don't know) at a psychiatric hospital. I was also driving 5 hours round-trip twice a week to my university class. In addition to that, I continued practicing law, just a case here and there, and also working as a technical writer. It was a full plate to say the least.

In August, I took six weeks off from my practicum to temporarily move to San Antonio and care for my father who had quadruple bypass. He came through the surgery with flying colors and has since lost a lot of weight and gotten into going to the gym, scuba diving, etc. So he is now doing well.

I returned to Houston in October and worked through December at my practicum. I started in January at a new practicum site that was 116 miles round-trip. My supervisor was incompetent and dealing with her was a nightmare. I ended up at a different site than I expected, which was great because the people there were wonderful, but I still had to deal with my horrible supervisor from time to time. She had good intentions, but you know what they say about that, road to hell, etc.

Anyway, in the midst of dealing with her and finishing my practicum experience, I was also studying for my comprehensive exam, which was required to graduate. I had missed it in November by four percentage points so passing it this time was crucial. It was unbelievably stressful, but I got through it. I thought May would be easier because I finished my practicum and my mother came to visit for a couple of weeks for my graduation. Well, as those who have read my blog before are aware, my mother was hospitalized twice while here in Houston and she missed my graduation. It was a very stressful time for us all.

I recap all of this to give some quick background to what I have been doing since the beginning of June, which is basically nothing at all. I have been seeing friends, catching up with everyone, getting ready to study for my National Counselor Examination (NCE), which I will take in September, and applying for jobs. I spend a lot of time though sleeping, generally resting, and just "being." I have started back to the gym five days a week, which feels great, I've lost weight, I picked up an easy pet sitting gig for some extra cash, I am working on a couple of legal cases, and I feel I am getting my life back on track. I have started clearing out my home office, getting it organized and streamlined. I'm selling/donating a lot of things that no longer fit my life. It feels good.

The last few months have been go, go, go with no time to even take a breath or think clearly. I cannot overestimate the value of being able to sleep, rest, and have an easy schedule. After the last year, it's not only desirable, it's a necessity.

The Case of Casey

2011-07-14T23:01:00.000-05:00

Shock waves have rippled through American society recently with the announcement of a not guilty verdict for Casey Anthony, the young mother in Florida accused of killing her daughter, Caylee, who was just two months shy of her 3rd birthday when she died. As an attorney and a mental health professional, I have discussed this case with colleagues in both fields. It is my considered opinion that the public is letting emotions get the best of them when considering what happened to Caylee.

The murder of anyone in a brutal and gruesome fashion is always a tragedy, but we are prone to more emotion when the deceased is a child. There is something about the life of a child being cut short and in such a horrible manner that makes us thirst for a particular brand of justice. A child, especially one that is not yet out of toddlerhood, is considered a truly innocent victim. Personally, I feel the death of anyone via homicide is equally as tragic, regardless of age, but that is a post for another day. For now, I think we can all agree that emotions run especially high when the death of a child is at hand.

Anytime a child dies at the hands of his or her mother, there seems to be a special outrage that accompanies it. Perhaps, as one psychologist pointed out, it's because we often idolize the role of mother in a child's life. We do not expect that mothers will kill their children. Mothers have a unique connection to their children, having been present in their lives from the moment they were nothing but a clump of cells. It's anathema to us to consider that a mother, of all people, would brutally harm the child she grew in her body and labored to bring into the world.

Whatever the reason for the outrage over this case, I believe that we all need to take a collective breath and calm down. Did Casey Anthony get away with murder? I don't know. To be honest, I believed she had up until the verdict was announced. At that time, I took a step back and considered the evidence. I realized that it is quite possible that any number of things could have occurred that led to Caylee's death. I will never know and neither will anyone else. The truth is known only by Casey.

As a lawyer, I believe in the American justice system. I know that it is flawed in many ways and I could spend years discussing those flaws in this blog. But, at the end of the day, I also know that I would rather have the American system of justice over any other. We don't always get it right and in the Anthony case, we may have gotten it terribly wrong, but I am willing to allow for the guilty to go free sometimes rather than knowing that a person who is innocent could be convicted on lesser evidence than beyond a reasonable doubt. There are many people in our prison system who are serving time for crimes they did not commit and there are many people who are walking free with the knowledge that they got away with murder. However, in the aggregate, I believe the system generally works.

Casey Anthony was found not guilty and for better or for worse, we're all going to have to live with that. OJ Simpson, another high profile person, was also found not guilty of the brutal slayings of two people. That was 16 years ago and his life was never the same. He did not lose his freedom with his verdict, but he lost everything else. Never again was he able to freely move about in public without the knowledge that more often than not, those around him believed him to be a cold-blooded killer.

The same thing will happen to Casey Anthony and sometimes, public shunning is its own brand of justice. Whether it is deserved in this case, I do not know. It is my belief that we all need to realize that it is what it is and move forward,. Perhaps we need to change the laws to require the reporting of a missing child within a certain time frame. Perhaps we need to pray (if that is something you believe in) for direction, perhaps this is a chance for all of us to exercise redirection of our anger to something positive and ultimately more powerful: remembering Caylee Anthony and doing whatever we can do to ensure she did not die in vain.

The Master!

2011-07-02T16:22:00.000-05:00

Calm

2011-07-01T00:49:00.002-05:00

7 Down

2011-06-23T20:58:00.000-05:00

Bethany over at The Land of Curly Hair recently had a fun blog asking people where they were in life seven years ago. I am stealing her idea! So, post in the comments where you were in life seven years ago. Interesting to see how things have changed in that time for everyone.

I will pick a random winner who will receive some specialized soaps in the scent of their choice (from the ones I have anyway). I will close this on Monday, June 27th at 5p.m. CST so get your comments in before then.

Standing on their shoulders

2011-06-17T12:47:00.003-05:00

To my parents who are the most supportive, amazing people I know:

I am the first person in my family to go to college. When I told my parents I wanted to go, they said "That's great, how can we help you?" My mother typed my scholarship applications on a real typewriter. This was in 1994 before applications could be submitted online. My father sent me spending money every semester and sweatshirts from all over the country. He was a long-haul truck driver at the time. I still have those sweatshirts and I love them! I always had German chocolate cake on my birthday and when the first birthday I had in college came around, I mentioned to my mother on the phone that I would miss the German chocolate cake. A few days later, an entire German chocolate cake arrived in overnight mail!

In 2001 when I told my parents I wanted to go to law school, they said "That's great, how can we help you?" My mother brought me balloons and flowers when I got the score I needed on the LSAT. My father helped me move from Oregon to Texas and picked me up at the airport in Houston. He also gave me a TV and an air mattress as well as various other household items because he was moving out of his apartment in San Antonio and my furniture was late in arriving.

He helped me set up utilities, car insurance, and even paid for some of it so I would have an easy start in Houston. My Dad had to go back on the road shortly after I arrived and he called me every single day because he knew I didn't know anyone in Houston yet and he wanted to be sure I wasn't lonely.

My parents helped me through three brutal years of law school, with all the heartbreaks and successes that entails. When I passed the bar exam, they were the first people I called and I can say they were as excited as I was!

In 2007 when I told my parents I wanted to get my master's degree, they said "My God, are you ever going to get out of school?" :) Really, they once again said "That's great, how can we help you?" My dad paid for my degree and made sure I had enough money for incidentals like books and food. My mother offered never-ending support from Oregon. When I got discouraged and felt that I just couldn't do another paper or take another test, they were right there with me. Sometimes they walked behind me, pushing me forward and sometimes they walked beside me, helping me to keep going.

I have reached all of my dreams because my parents let me stand on their shoulders.

To Mom and Dad - Thank you for everything!

Beauty

2011-06-05T00:19:00.000-05:00

Die a thousand deaths!

2011-05-31T21:59:00.001-05:00

After my last post, it only seems fair to give an update on the situation. My mother ended up having a second colonoscopy and finally, finally some answers were found. The surgeon fixed the problem while doing the colonoscopy so there was no need for a second scope or surgery. It was a blood vessel causing the bleeding that is apparently linked to liver issues. My mother will have a liver biopsy soon to assess her liver function.

She was released from the hospital on Saturday, May 21st at which point I promptly took her to Golden Corral, per her request, because the poor woman had not eaten solid food for at least a week at that point. On Saturday, I also drove to the airport to talk to the ticket agents in person about changing her tickets. I took a note from her doctor explaining that she had been hospitalized (again) and that is why she missed the flight. The agents were wonderful and quickly dealt with the re-ticketing at no charge. THANK GOD!

Mom went home on Monday. I drove her to the airport because I too was flying out to Cozumel that morning. I got mom in the security line safely and then my father, who was going to Cozumel too, called me to say he'd missed his flight because he'd been sent to the wrong gate. He was flying out of San Antonio while I was in Houston. At that point, I just thought "Well, sure." Because really, May had been the month of whatthehellweirdshitenoughalready.

I caught my flight and arrived in Cozumel in the afternoon, at which point I promptly went to the hotel and went to bed. It was around 5 p.m. and I was beyond exhausted. I had spent the last night of my mother's hospitalization in her hospital room, sleeping on a "couch bed" they had brought in for me. Sleeping is too strong a word to describe the experience by the way. It was more fitful napping.

I was finally getting into good sleep mode in Cozumel when housekeeping knocked at the door around 7:30. They were there to deliver "welcome chocolates" to me. Now, chocolate is usually a welcome gift, I don't dispute that. But seriously? The first time I was hitting the groove of good sleep in weeks and I'm awakened for that? Die a thousand deaths housekeeper!

Dad finally arrived on Tuesday and we spent several fun days in Cozumel. We left on Friday having eaten at Ernesto's Fajitas and Casa Denis, gone horseback riding, shopped, swam, snorkeled, and scuba dived (Dad did this as he's a certified diver). I slept in on the mornings he was diving and then happily wandered around aimlessly. It was great. We are planning to return in August for a longer stay in Cozumel.

Until then, I have other things to accomplish. I will be taking the NCE exam for my counseling licensure in July. Studying for that is the priority right now, along with job hunting. Never a dull moment.

The Graduate: Drained

2011-05-19T17:30:00.004-05:00

I am drained. It has been an unbelievable two weeks. I am now the proud owner of a Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology. I started the program in August 2007 and went part-time for the most part. Finally, after a lot of blood, sweat, and tears, I received my degree on Saturday, May 14th, 2011. This was my final stint in college. In 1998, I earned two B.A. degrees from the University of Oregon. I took four years off and then pursued my law degree (J.D.), earning that in 2005. I have been practicing law on and off for the last six years, but counseling is my real passion and I am excited to be able to pursue this profession.

I've already had to exercise my own set of coping skills this last two weeks. My mother came from Oregon to spend time with me and attend my graduation. She arrived on Saturday, May 7th and we spent a few fun days together before she started bleeding internally. She knew that was happening because it has happened before and she knew the signs. I took her to the ER and they admitted her on May 11th. She had blood transfusions, an endoscopy, and a colonoscopy to try and find the source of the bleeding. They could not find it (which is also what happened when this occurred in 2008) and they released her when it stopped on Sunday, May 15th.

She was out of the hospital for two days and then...it started up again. I brought her back to the hospital on Wednesday of this week and they admitted her again. She had an endoscopy again today, which did not provide any answers and tomorrow, she will have another colonoscopy. She was supposed to go back to Oregon on Wednesday, but clearly that did not happen. I will have to go wrangle with the airline to see about changing tickets for whenever it is we're told she can fly.

I was supposed to leave on Monday for Cozumel, Mexico, but I don't think that is going to happen. It's OK because I've been there three times before, but I was looking forward to some relaxation after a very difficult last semester. However, I am counting my blessings because there are many:

1. I have my Master's degree and I am done with school. I did not set out to get four degrees, but that is what happened and I am proud of my accomplishments and grateful to God for allowing me the tools and opportunities to pursue my education.

2. I have amazing friends. AMAZING! They have all been supportive, loving, caring, and given of themselves throughout the process of my education and my trials in life. They have shared my joy and I am forever grateful for them.

3. My parents are incredible people who love me beyond measure and have stood beside me in the gale force winds of life.

4. My mother is receiving excellent medical care, which is far and above what she would get in my small home town.

Much to be grateful for and those are the things worth concentrating on.

Hermit

2011-05-01T16:48:00.001-05:00

I'm feeling the need to retreat into hermitdom. This is usually the case when I am overwhelmed and stressed, which has been true for quite a few months now. If anyone needs me, I will be in a cabin in an undisclosed location with all the amenities of modern life, but none of the hassles. OK, so not really, but oh how I wish!

Loving Like Royalty

2011-04-29T23:55:00.001-05:00

So the royal wedding took place today. I watched a little bit of it streaming live on the BBC YouTube channel, but I was tired so I watched the rest of it later. I loved Kate's dress and I truly believe that she and William will be very happy together. They seem self-assured and sure of their love for one another. The very best part of the whole ceremony was not seeing the dress, seeing the guests and their choice of clothing, or even the vows. It was this sermon to Kate and William by the Bishop of London. These are wonderful words for all couples in every relationship to remember and for those who are single to remember when looking for a mate:

“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” So said St Catherine of Siena whose festival day it is today. Marriage is intended to be a way in which man and woman help each other to become what God meant each one to be, their deepest and truest selves.

Many are full of fear for the future of the prospects of our world but the message of the celebrations in this country and far beyond its shores is the right one – this is a joyful day! It is good that people in every continent are able to share in these celebrations because this is, as every wedding day should be, a day of hope.

In a sense every wedding is a royal wedding with the bride and the groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together so that life can flow through them into the future.

William and Catherine, you have chosen to be married in the sight of a generous God who so loved the world that he gave himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ.

And in the Spirit of this generous God, husband and wife are to give themselves to each another.

A spiritual life grows as love finds its centre beyond ourselves. Faithful and committed relationships offer a door into the mystery of spiritual life in which we discover this; the more we give of self, the richer we become in soul; the more we go beyond ourselves in love, the more we become our true selves and our spiritual beauty is more fully revealed. In marriage we are seeking to bring one another into fuller life.

It is of course very hard to wean ourselves away from self-centredness. And people can dream of doing such a thing but the hope should be fulfilled it is necessary a solemn decision that, whatever the difficulties, we are committed to the way of generous love.

You have both made your decision today – “I will” – and by making this new relationship, you have aligned yourselves with what we believe is the way in which life is spiritually evolving, and which will lead to a creative future for the human race.

We stand looking forward to a century which is full of promise and full of peril. Human beings are confronting the question of how to use wisely a power that has been given to us through the discoveries of the last century. We shall not be converted to the promise of the future by more knowledge, but rather by an increase of loving wisdom and reverence, for life, for the earth and for one another.

Marriage should transform, as husband and wife make one another their work of art. It is possible to transform as long as we do not harbour ambitions to reform our partner. There must be no coercion if the Spirit is to flow; each must give the other space and freedom. Chaucer, the London poet, sums it up in a pithy phrase:

“Whan maistrie [mastery] comth, the God of Love anon, Beteth his wynges, and farewell, he is gon.”

As the reality of God has faded from so many lives in the West, there has been a corresponding inflation of expectations that personal relations alone will supply meaning and happiness in life. This is to load our partner with too great a burden. We are all incomplete: we all need the love which is secure, rather than oppressive, we need mutual forgiveness, to thrive.

As we move towards our partner in love, following the example of Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit is quickened within us and can increasingly fill our lives with light. This leads to a family life which offers the best conditions in which the next generation can practise and exchange those gifts which can overcome fear and division and incubate the coming world of the Spirit, whose fruits are love and joy and peace.

I pray that all of us present and the many millions watching this ceremony and sharing in your joy today, will do everything in our power to support and uphold you in your new life. And I pray that God will bless you in the way of life that you have chosen, that way which is expressed in the prayer that you have composed together in preparation for this day:

God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage.

In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy.

Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen.“

Welcome Brayden!

2011-04-25T23:15:00.005-05:00

Yesterday was Easter, but it was also a celebration of the birth of a precious little boy. Brayden is my dear friend, Drew's, little one. He was supposed to show up in early May, but apparently he decided that he wanted to hang out with all of us sooner than that. So yesterday, his momma's water broke very early in the morning and the wait was on!

This is the first child for Drew and the second for his wife, Niki. Niki has a beautiful 14-year-old daughter. For Niki's sake, I was hoping the labor would go quickly. I always feel badly for women who labor for hours and hours and hours. As it turned out, I ended up feeling badly for Niki. It took 14 hours for Brayden to finally show up. And, as it turned out, Niki could not get the epidural because the anesthesiologist showed up too late. Brayden was also face up (he should have been face down) so it was a rough back labor for Niki. She went through it like a champ and last night around 8 p.m., Brayden made his debut.

This afternoon, I went to the hospital to meet my little nephew. Although I am not related to Drew, he is very much a brother to me. His mother and my mother were best friends for over 50 years. Drew and I went to law school together, he was one year ahead of me. We hung out nearly every day during the summer of 2003 and had dinner at Chili's so frequently that we became great friends with one of the waitresses there who started giving us free drinks since we came in so often. We've shared a lot - the law school experience, heartaches, dating the wrong people, and finally dating the right people. I was at his wedding and was thrilled when he called to say that Brayden was on his way.

I love Drew's wife as much as I love him, but I think my love for their little boy is going to eclipse the love I have for them. He is just too precious. I held him for hours this afternoon and he was just so wonderful. He slept and slept and moved his little arms around and then woke up and looked at me and I immediately saw his father's expressions in his tiny little scrunched up face. He's definitely his father's son.

I can't wait to watch this little one grow up and I am certain that I will receive calls like this "Aunt Lawfrog, Dad won't buy me thelatestandgreatestelectronicdevice and it's NOT FAIR! Will you get it for my birthday?" And I probably will. Not always of course, but I can see myself giving into this kid. He's already got me wrapped around his itty bitty little finger.

Hola Cozumel!

2011-04-25T00:45:00.001-05:00

It's been a very busy time recently and I've been tired and stressed out. School is coming to a close and I am very excited, but I have so much to do in the three weeks before that happens. On the plus side though, in just about a month, I will be lounging on the beaches in Cozumel, Mexico! My Dad is going down there to make use of his recently acquired scuba diving certification and he's generously letting me tag along. Free vacation in Cozumel with my awesome Dad? YES PLEASE!

I love Cozumel. I've been there three times before. The first time was in May 2004 when I spent 7 days down there with a friend from law school. It was a wonderful time. I was getting over a major heartbreak and Cozumel was just what I needed to relax after the preceding few months of heartache and pain. The next two visits were both in 2008 and I was there for only a few hours because I was on cruises both times. This time, I'll be there Monday - Friday and I am SO looking forward to some leisurely strolling time. While Dad is diving, I will be snorkeling, lying on the beach, reading, relaxing, shopping, and just generally letting my mind and body rest. When Dad is not scuba diving, we will do some things together (horseback riding for sure and we're still deciding on the other things we will do). We will also be eating at Ernesto's Fajitas, which is my very favorite restaurant down there.

My Dad and I travel really well together, we've done it several times before, so I know it will be a great time. Having something like this to look forward to makes the stress of the next three weeks a lot easier to deal with.

LOL!

2011-04-09T00:55:00.000-05:00

Stealing these from Maria at Just Eat Your Cupcake.

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving 'til 5.
Sincerely,
The unicorns.

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic.

Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know. Let's Yahoo! it..." Just sayin'
Sincerely,
Google

Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?
Sincerely,
1985

Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea....Just kidding! They're all dead.
Sincerely,
BP

Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God

Dear jakdiekeleeleoehn,
Please e39je,emlfjdld
Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder

Dear Nickelback,
That's enough.
Sincerely,
The World

Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin.

Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere

Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman

Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
the Nail Salon Ladies.

Dear ugly people,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol

Dear Martin Luther King, Jr.
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream...What now?
Sincerely,
Leonardo Di Caprio

Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy, okay?
Sincerely,
The Mayans

Dear Snooki,
GET BACK TO WORK!
Sincerely,
Willy Wonka

Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans

Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User

Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP!! Where did you go?
Sincerely,
Terrified

Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up...
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore

Dear Man,
It's cute, but can't you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant

Dear Dr. Phil,
Listen there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first.
Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper

Relief, Food, Books, and Also Some Other Stuff

2011-04-07T23:55:00.000-05:00

I'm still feeling the relief from passing my comps exam. I have been totally exhausted this week though. I think the mental energy I expended on that exam for so long has literally sapped me of my physical energy. Thankfully, I didn't have a lot to do this week so I've been able to sleep/nap as needed. I went to my practicum site on Tuesday for about four hours, but they didn't have anyone for me to test so I hung out, chatted with my co-workers, did a little research, and came home.

Today, I had lunch with a friend I've been trying to get together with since November. We both have had crazy schedules so it was difficult to find free time at the same time. We were finally able to do it today and had a 2-hour lunch catching up and eating some good food (California Pizza Kitchen). She is a great person who is also pursuing a degree in psychology so, among many other things, we have that in common.

After lunch, I went across the street to Barnes and Noble where I took my time to browse the stacks. I love bookstores and can (and have) spend hours inside them. I didn't buy anything since I have books I need to read stacked up at home, but it was nice to get some ideas for things to read in the future. Also, the quiet, relaxed atmosphere of the bookstore was very calming.

Tomorrow, I will be sleeping in and then working in the afternoon at the company I do technical writing for. Being an independent contractor is very nice because I can make my own schedule and, for the most part, work at my own pace. I love that.

On Saturday, I am heading back to Victoria for a required colloquium. I have to attend two of the four of those offered during the semester for my practicum. I attended one in March and this one will finish my obligation. It will be SO nice to drive to Victoria without worrying about the exam. It is going to be a much more relaxed drive than it was last weekend. I plan to blast the music and just have fun driving.

After the colloquium, my classmates and I are going to have lunch together. There will be about six of us. I am very lucky in that my classmates are also my friends. We are very supportive of one another and we are all a bit sad that many of us are graduating and we won't be seeing each other in person on a regular basis anymore. So we decided to plan this lunch as a way to get together one last time.

Comprehensive Anxiety

2011-04-03T23:47:00.004-05:00

This was a big weekend for me. On Friday, I traveled to Victoria (2.5 hours away) in preparation for the Comprehensive Exam ("Comps") for my M.A. degree. This is the last hurdle in what has been a very long journey to get my degree. I started taking classes in August 2007 and will be finishing my last practicum class in about five weeks. I am working toward my M.A. in Counseling Psychology so that I can become a therapist. I am looking forward to this as I know in my heart it's the right job for me. I have been many things in my working life - journalist, technical writer, lawyer - but none of them really resonated with me the way counseling does.

The Comprehensive Exam is required by my university and tests us on 10 core subject areas that every counseling student must know. Those areas are:

Introduction to Assessment
Advanced Assessment
Advanced Abnormal Psychology
Ethics
Life Span
Advanced Social Psychology
Advanced Research Methods
Theories
Techniques of Psychotherapy
Multicultural Counseling.

A lot of information to take in and spit out on an exam. We are allowed to take the exam twice. If you do not pass it the second time, you must take remedial classes in the areas you did not do well in before you will be allowed to re-take the exam.

I was sweating this test big time because this was my second try at it. I had taken it in November and was 8 questions (4 percentage points) away from passing. I started studying for the April exam about two days after I took the November test. It was a long five months of trying to learn everything, worrying, and just generally wanting to do well. The anxiety was enormous. My mother bought a plane ticket to be here in May for my graduation and my Dad, who lives a few hours away, was eagerly planning for my graduation as well. There was a lot riding on this and I was feeling the pressure. This is not to say that anyone was pressuring me because they were not. My parents have always been supportive and encouraging and they would have been there for me no matter what. But still...I did not want to disappoint them or myself.

So, after five months of study, the big day was once again on the horizon. I was lucky in a sense in that I had two classmates who did not pass it the first time either so, although we live hours away from one another, we had all studied together and talked through problems on the phone. That helped a lot, both having others to study with and having people to help with the anxiety.

I drove up Friday and studied throughout the day and into the evening. I had a good dinner (studying some more at the restaurant) and then headed back to the hotel I was staying in to study some more. Finally, I went to bed about 2 a.m. I awoke, thinking it was time to get up, and when I glanced at the clock it was only 4:15. I couldn't sleep very well after that. I tossed and turned and got a little more sleep until I finally gave up and got dressed.

I headed over to the school and continued to study in the 45 minutes or so before the test. And then, it was time. The test is computerized (200 multiple choice questions) and gives you your score immediately. There was some comfort in knowing that I would not have to wait for the score. I would know how I did and be able to begin dealing with it, whichever way it went.

The test started and the first few questions were hard. I began to get worried. As I continued, there were several questions that I knew without hesitation and there were several that I didn't know. I started writing down the question numbers that I was unsure of. I was allowed to miss 60 questions so I figured if I had less than 60 questions that I was unsure of, then I was going to be OK. When all was said and done, I had...72. I went back through the questions I was unsure of, thought about them, changed some answers, and left some other answers. My two classmates who were also re-taking it had finished and so had the other four examinees. It was just me.

I was shaking throughout a lot of the test. Literally shaking. My hand trembling. I was feeling the pressure. I started thinking about how I was going to fail and how I was going to have to explain to all my classmates (when I would see them the following Saturday at a seminar we all have to go to) that I was going to have to take remedial classes and how humiliating that would be and how I was sure all of them would wonder why I couldn't pass this test. I also started thinking of how depressing it was going to be to take those remedial classes and not graduate and not be able to have fun with my Mom when she gets here because I would be sad and depressed over not passing and not getting to graduate.

Finally, I knew that I had done what I could and I had to end it. I pressed the Finish button and the computer asked if I was sure I wanted to submit my test. I said yes. I knew then that it was a matter of seconds before I would know where I stood. Once you press the submit button, it then asks if you would like to view your attempt. I clicked the View Attempt button and....

I PASSED!!! Not only did I pass, but I got 9 percentage points more than I needed, which means I missed 42 questions of the 60 I was able to miss. The relief was UNBELIEVABLE and yet, the adrenalin was still pumping. I passed. I wouldn't have to explain to my classmates that I didn't make it. I would be able to graduate with them. I would be able to enjoy my Mom's visit. I could order my cap and gown. And in May, I will be walking across the stage to get my diploma. I PASSED!

Soak

2011-03-28T09:41:00.001-05:00

Let's all relax a little bit, shall we?

Winner

2011-03-19T20:52:00.002-05:00

A lot of people seem to think that 2012 signals the end of the world. I kind of hope that's true. In a world where teachers are laid off by the thousands and some idiot (I'm talking to you Charlie Sheen) who is a wife-beating, prostitute using, drug abusing, father of five kids with three different women is a "winner," there is simply no reason to keep on going. I wouldn't blame God one bit if he just scrapped this whole humans inhabiting the Earth thing and started over from scratch. Maybe this time he should forgo the whole apple tree deal though.

Anxiety? No thanks.

2011-03-12T15:20:00.000-06:00

So my last couple of posts were rather gloomy due to the severe anxiety and depression I was recently feeling. The good news is that I am feeling A LOT better. I went to see my doctor last week and the marvels of modern medicine have been working like a charm as they usually do. So, things are looking up and I feel good about the future again. YAY!

I have a lot to do in the next three months and I am looking forward to accomplishing it all, but it has been stressful. I've been really tired lately so I'm building in time during the week to slow down, decompress, and recharge. That is SO needed no matter who you are, but when you're in the throes of graduate school and working, and doing this and doing that, it's a must.

It has helped that the weather has been cooperative lately. Yesterday and today were two more "let the fresh air in" days. I am going to miss these days when the humidity kicks in, which will happen in the next few weeks. I'm enjoying these breezy beautiful days for as long as possible.

Letting in the Fresh Air

2011-02-28T17:46:00.002-06:00

So things are looking up a bit. The weather was really amazing today. I was able to throw open all the windows and get some fresh air in the house. That is a true treat in Houston because it's either really cold or really hot and humid. We enjoy actual spring weather here only a few days out of the year so when it comes along, I take advantage of it by opening the windows and letting in a new season.

Anyway, I slept really badly last night due to my anxiety deciding that I should stay awake and pay attention to it. So I finally got tired of it (no pun intended) and got up for good. I got the day started by mopping all the tile floors, which was a huge thing because I'd been meaning to do it forever, but hadn't gotten around to it. I don't even want to tell you the last time the kitchen floor was swept and mopped. It may possibly have been prior to the current president's election. Possibly...

There's something about doing housework that makes you feel accomplished and as if you've worked hard. Now, I wouldn't want to do it every day (and I don't, see above comment about the last time the floors were mopped), but it does feel good to look at the finished product.

Here lately, I've been putting off doing a lot of things because I am tired, depressed, or the anxiety is getting to me. So, I am going to make a concerted effort to take the bull by the horns (or the mop in the hands) and get it together. I always feel better when things are done and I can truly relax.

Pit Pulling

2011-02-26T23:42:00.004-06:00

I haven't done much in the last two days. This is supposed to be a relaxation weekend for me, which it has been basically. I had yesterday off and I spent it having dinner with a friend and really doing nothing. Same thing today. However, I do need to do some work tomorrow that I have been putting off and Monday will be the same. I had hoped to take all four days off, but that is not going to happen as I need to get these things done so I can stop worrying about them.

I am tired of worrying in general and feeling all blah about various things so I am going to pull myself out of the pit because it's dark and depressing down here. Pulling myself out begins with a good night's sleep. Night all!

Serenity now!

2011-02-24T23:48:00.001-06:00

So this chronic ball of stress that is my life has been rather, well, stressful in recent weeks. It's affecting me physically and I can't take it anymore. I have the next four days off. I do have some work to do tomorrow, but I have decided to take this long weekend and really relax. It's just necessary unless I want to self-destruct, which I do not because it just sounds very messy and like a real hassle. I am going to fill my time with meditation, hot bubble baths, reading, exercise, and sleep. Those are all things that I need to do in bulk more often.

Today

2011-02-23T11:41:00.000-06:00

It's a grey and gloomy day today, but I'm OK with that. I need this kind of day. So much is going on and I am tired of it all. I feel exhausted, depressed, angry, bitter, and everything in-between. Usually, I am upbeat and positive and I will be again. But right now...this is where I am and I just felt the need to get it off my chest.

Violated at the Snack Bar, Damn Spammers, Abortion, and Also Some Other Stuff

2011-02-18T22:40:00.003-06:00

I'd like to file charges against the snack bar of the movie theatre in San Antonio for the financial rape committed on me there. $11 for a medium ICEE and a small popcorn. Seriously?? I hardly ever go to the movies, we're talking once a year here folks, and I LOVE movie theatre popcorn so I always get it when I am there. But $11 for a drink and popcorn? I feel violated.

I unsubscribed from a law-related mailing list today and this is what appeared underneath the Unsubscribe box: "Our records show that you do not have an online account with . Please help us better communicate with you by creating an online account with contact information, email address, and password." I am UNSUBSCRIBING from your list. What about that screams that I want you to communicate with me?

A friend of mine who is a total genius mentioned that she was having trouble getting off one of these lovely e-mail lists. Despite unsubscribing, calling, etc. they refused to remove her. Finally, she went to her profile/preferences on the site and changed her e-mail to the company's e-mail. That way, the company who refused to remove her, despite repeated requests, is now receiving their own junk mail. Is that brilliant or what?!

I'm in love with Jackie Speier for telling it like it is. In case you don't know who she is, she's a representative from California. She is a Democrat, but her speech crosses party lines. It's about getting over the fact that certain things are just not worth wasting time on anymore because they are LEGAL activities. In this case, it was abortion that was being hammered on yet again.

As a quick aside, I wish elected officials would quit their bitching about things that are legal. If you want to change the laws, there are ways to do that, and those ways do not include complaining about your pet causes during the time you are supposed to be hammering out that little economic "the deficit is HOW much???" problem we have in this country. As my best friend said "Lobby for pet causes on your personal time, not the taxpayers." AMEN!!

Here is a link to Rep. Speier's speech: AWESOME and here is the link to the Representative who spoke before her, that she was replying to: Go Away and Die Already.

Stuff I've thought about recently

2011-02-11T21:31:00.003-06:00

So the other day, my back started to itch and I grabbed my trusty back scratcher off the wall and scratched my back. It then occurred to me what a weird thing God did there - he made it so that our backs can itch, but we can't reach the itch without some kind of outside help. Sense of humor on God's part perhaps? Or maybe He just likes to see us (literally) squirm sometimes. Who can blame Him? We kind of suck a lot.

You ever notice that the people who can't stand to be told what to do are the same ones who have no trouble dispensing unwanted advice to others? If you start any sentence with "What you need to do is..." but hate it when other people do that, you are one of "those" people.

I dislike whiners. It's amazing to me how some people worry and whine as a way of life. Listen folks, we make choices in life. Some good, some bad. Roll with it and quit your constant bitching, OK? Venting is one thing, but when you find yourself talking about the same topics all the time with that nasal tone that should be reserved for when you're suffering from a horrible sinus attack, you need to stop. Just stop.

35

2011-02-08T13:38:00.000-06:00

I turned 35 on February 4th. I love birthdays, I always have! As some people age, they hate birthdays because they are reminders of time passing and getting older. Personally, I don't mind getting older because as I've gotten older, I've also gotten smarter. There are things I know now about myself and about others that would have been very handy in my teen years/early 20s. I know that as time passes, I will learn more and life will get better. There is much to be grateful for now and much to look forward to.

I spent my birthday in San Antonio this year with my Dad and Peanut. We had a great time! On the day of my birthday, Dad, our cousin Bonnie, and I had dinner at Bill Miller's BBQ and then headed out to Laugh Out Loud, a comedy club in San Antonio. We all laughed through the whole show. There is nothing better than a good dose of laughter, it was a great way to celebrate. On Saturday, Dad and I signed him up for Scuba Diving lessons (something that is on his bucket list) and saw The Roommate, which was freaky, but very good. We headed home to a dinner of Dad's homemade tacos, which rivals any Mexican restaurant anywhere! Sunday was a quiet day at home. We watched the Super Bowl and just hung out. Monday, it was lunch at Bill Miller's BBQ again (that place is FANTASTIC) and then I headed home to Houston where I had a late birthday dinner with a friend.

Today, I am trying to get back in the swing of things after a wonderful weekend away. Real life is overrated and hard to get back into when you've had a relaxing few days away, but I am slowly dipping my toe in the scalding pool of reality.

Sing it!

2011-01-29T23:39:00.001-06:00

Sometimes, I talk back to the radio when I'm listening to a song. Something will come on similar to this "She left me, took my dog, and now I'm sad." And I'll think, and occasionally say out loud, "Well, maybe if you hadn't treated her like dirt, she wouldn't have left you." I know I can't be the only one thinking that.

People usually write songs based on things they've experienced, which makes me wonder about songs with lyrics like this -

"Mad woman, bad woman
That's just what you are, yeah,
You'll smile in my face then rip the breaks out my car..."

Well, alrighty then. Poor Bruno Mars, he must have had a hell of a break-up with that psycho.

The interesting thing about songs is that we can all relate to them. Music has been called the universal language and it really is. It doesn't matter if you can't understand the language the song is being sung in, you can feel the emotions through the beat, the tempo of the music. I love it when I hear a song that makes me feel as though the artist is singing directly to me, to my pain, or my joy. Music makes us realize that we are not alone in our struggles and our joy. Elton John put it well in Sad Songs (Say So Much):

If someone else is suffering enough to write it down
When every single word makes sense
Then It's easier to have those songs around
The kick inside is in the line that finally gets to you
and it feels so good to hurt so bad
And suffer just enough to sing the blues.

RanDAMNess Part Some Number or Other

2011-01-25T18:41:00.003-06:00

Before I get into Random thoughts, I have to direct everyone to this blog post over at If You Seek Amie. It succinctly and perfectly expresses my own thoughts on the rampant selfishness in the world.

Now then, random thoughts from life:

Each time I pull up to the ATM, it informs me that it speaks a new language. First, it was Spanish and then French, followed by Arabic. Now, it's Russian. My ATM is more cultured than I am.

The other day, I pulled away from said bank and saw that the exit from the bank now had a traffic light. Right in front of the exit is a horizontal crosswalk. That would be all fine and good, but there are no sidewalks ANYWHERE near this place. It's just a busy four-lane road. Not sure where the designers of that thought people were going to be walking and therefore be in need of a crosswalk. It's literally impossible to walk anywhere near that place.

I am a person who doesn't drink alcohol. At all. I have nothing against it, it is not a religious, moral, or otherwise Biblical decision of any kind and I am not a recovering alcoholic. I just don't drink. This seems to cause some people to believe that I cannot make my wishes on this matter known. I have had two different people at two different times feel the need to speak for me when someone offers me something to drink. Both times, I was sitting at a table and someone I did not know well offered me some wine. Before I could open my mouth to say "No thank you," the person who I do know well says "Oh, she doesn't drink." I guess my lack of drinking has obliterated my ability to speak for myself.

Now, let me be clear. It is not that I am necessarily bothered by this per se. It's just really weird that it has happened to me twice with two different people. If someone offered me a food item I didn't like, no one would feel the need to say "Oh, she doesn't like spinach." And yet, when I am offered a drink, they feel the need to make it known that I don't drink. Maybe I don't care to explain that I don't drink (because that often causes a whole other discussion with people that I usually don't feel the need to engage in). Maybe I just want to say "No thank you" and move on, but for some reason people feel the need to jump in. It's a very odd phenomenon.

Continue their work

2011-01-17T00:44:00.003-06:00

On Martin Luther King Jr. day, there is no better time to discuss the hatred in the world. There is so much of it and really, there always has been. Perhaps we know more about it now because we have access to 24-hour/7-day-a-week news and we hear everything almost as it happens. Although we do not see the outward displays of hatred that we used to see prior to the civil rights movement, people still privately share their views that a black person is "less than." We have laws now against racial discrimination so a boss is not likely to openly call a black employee the N word, but privately the hatred is still there (and sometimes it's there publicly despite the laws against some of these egregious behaviors). With the 10th anniversary of the September 11th attacks coming up this year, I am certain we will hear more and more hatred directed toward the Muslims.

It has to end and we all know it, but the first thing we need to do toward that end is recognize the basic fact that judging a person on an external characteristic is wrong. Wrong is such a basic word, but it is a powerful one. We all have to stand up and say "This is not OK. It is WRONG." When someone blames an entire religion for the acts of an extremist, when someone makes a racially charged joke, we have to be willing to say something. We all need to stand up for what is RIGHT even if we stand alone because we are all connected to one another in this world even though we often refuse to see that.

No one in this world is better than another. We are all human beings, we are brothers and sisters fighting to get through the difficulties and sharing the joys of being human. We need to recognize that a person is not an external factor - all black people are not criminals, everyone raised in a trailer park is not trash, all Muslims are not trying to kill those of a different religion or belief system. Put yourself in the shoes of a person who is being judged by an external characteristic. If you're a stay-at-home mom, how would you like it if someone said that all stay-at-home moms are lazy and do nothing all day, but watch TV and eat Bon Bons? If you're a parent who has chosen to home school, how would you like it if someone said you're a religious zealot and your kids are going to be poorly educated and socially backward? Would you like it if someone told you that you are an idiot because you don't have a college degree?

The character of a person should not be judged by the color of their skin, their religious beliefs, the way they decide to educate their children, where they grew up, or whether or not they decide to go to college. These are all external factors that do not a person make. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Medgar Evers sacrificed their lives so that we could all be judged by who we ARE not by the color of our skin or any other factor. We are all together in making this world a better place and the sacrifices of those who came before us should not be forgotten. They should spur us on to do our part in continuing their work. It matters and every time you stop a racial joke in its tracks, every time you refuse to judge someone based on their religion, every time you stand up for someone, you move a stone away from the mountain of hate. We can break down these walls...TOGETHER!

Take it easy on yourself

2010-12-31T21:44:00.006-06:00

So here we are at the end of another year. Usually around this time every year, I am thinking about my goals for the coming year and mapping them out. This year though, I just don't care. Well, I care, but not in the same way I used to. I believe this is called personal growth.

Every New Year's Eve, people make resolutions that they are not likely to stick to and then when they find that they have not stuck to them (usually somewhere around January 2nd), they get all depressed and fall into a cycle of internal anger, which is soothed by a cookie and there goes the weight loss goals, which begins a downward spiral into not exercising, which brings about more self-loathing, which is soothed by some alcohol...yeah, you can see where this is going.

People...TAKE IT EASY ON YOURSELF! It's not a bad thing to have goals and it's not a bad thing to map them out. It is bad to think this particular day of the year is the only time you can do so and that if you fall down on some of the goals, you have to be upset and let go of the goals until the next New Year's Eve. Do not put a huge amount of importance on this one day. Work steadily EVERY SINGLE DAY throughout the year to make progress toward what you want to do and if you fall down once or twice, get back up and keep on going.

We all put too much emphasis on particular days such as New Year's Eve and in the end, that can be harmful to our plans. Make your list of resolutions, but recognize that they are an all-year project and that it's OK if you "fail" on some of those days because you have 365 of them to work with. As long as you're doing well on the majority of the days, you're good. Remember that and take it easy on yourself. Your success is not defined by one day, it is defined by what you do every single day and whether that adds up to achievement of your goal(s). So give yourself a break and go forward!

Calm

2010-12-28T13:39:00.001-06:00

Always

2010-12-28T01:04:00.001-06:00

This morning, I prayed. I needed a favor from God. It wasn't anything major. In fact, it was something small, but I really needed it. I prayed hard this morning and then I got up to do the things I needed to do today. On my return home, I found out God had granted my request. And I realized, finally, what it means to have faith. To know that God does all the things for us that we need and that if we ask, He will provide. Sometimes it's not the way that we think we need it and sometimes, like today, it's exactly what we asked for.

Either way, I now know that God has it all under control. I've always known this in the abstract and I've had an incredible number of miracles take place in my life. I just didn't see them fully and completely for what they were. Today though, when He granted the request exactly as I had asked for it, I realized "Hey! God has my back. It's all good." And that my friends may be the greatest miracle of all - to finally know that I can let go of the anxiety about the millions of little things that I worry about. This was God's way of showing me that He is with me and that I do not need to worry. Thank you God for granting my request and for always, always being with me. I am never alone, He is always with me, always guiding me, always keeping me. Always.

Tested

2010-12-19T21:40:00.000-06:00

It's been an unbelievably busy week. Wednesday was a staff meeting/Christmas party at work, Friday was an afternoon holiday party and then an evening murder mystery "Who Killed Santa" holiday party for a company I do contract work for. Saturday evening was a birthday dinner for a friend of mine and today, I am hanging out with another friend doing a pizza and movie day. It's our Christmas gift to each other - the present of presence. I have wonderful, amazing friends and I am so grateful for every single one of them who loves me for all my great qualities and my, well, not-so-great qualities. My friends are a gift that I am given every single day.

It's a good thing those friends are in my life because 2010 has been really difficult for a lot of us. I blogged about that just recently. There has been a lot of loss and a lot of pain for a lot of people. A lot is the key word there. I know 2011 will be better for everyone. I feel it in my bones. The time of a lot of pain and loss has passed.

There will always be pain and loss in life, but I am of the belief that it should be spaced farther apart than it was this year. I know that this year was about faith in every area of my life. It was about knowing that God is in control and will take care of my needs if only I will let Him. I have decided to let Him because He always does a better job of it than I ever will. I am grateful that God is as forgiving as He is. I have needed that this year. Faith untested is faith unknown. We must be tested if we are ever to declare that we truly have faith. Faith is easier said than done. It's only in the really hard times that we know if we truly have faith. I like to think I have passed the test.

Happy Pawlidays from Shutterfly!

2010-12-08T19:22:00.000-06:00

Those who know me know that I love my dog, Peanut. She is more than a dog to me, she is my baby and I treat her as such. This includes taking a yearly picture of Peanut with her doggy brothers (and yes, I do love them too!). This year, I will be getting our Christmas cards from Shutterfly as I have done in past years. They have excellent card designs and they are super easy to make. I don’t know that there is another site that is more user-friendly.

Of course, I always take a million pictures of Peanut and the boys at Christmas so I may have to go with a card that allows me to use several pictures on one card. Shutterfly has those if I decide to go that route. Or, I could just go with a single photo on one of their many awesome card designs. It’s tough to choose. Whatever we go with, I know that our friends and family are going to love the cards! Peanut is just so cute and so are her brothers. I love taking their photos every year and sharing them with our loved ones.

I need to pick a card format. Tough to do, but these are some great ideas:

How cute would Peanut and her brothers look in this Christmas Tree design?

http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery

Or maybe, this single photo card so they can be seen with a neat border?

http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-photo-cards

This one is great too because the blue would match the pink in Peanut's little pink coat. Hmmm...

http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-cards

You'll know which one we chose when you receive our card. Thanks Shutterfly for so many great options!

Me too

2010-12-06T00:08:00.001-06:00

I have heard many people say that blogs are a reflection of narcissism - that is, that people who write about their lives are wrapped up in themselves and looking for others to supply them with adoration, self-esteem, etc. Clearly, I do not believe this.

There are two big reasons that a lot of people write blogs in my opinion. First, it's because we need to purge our thoughts and feelings. We need to be heard if only through the screen. People in real life are often very bad about listening and being there for others. We are often told to "suck it up" and "other people have it worse" as if our trials and tribulations are "less than." Other people's suffering does not negate our own. And yet, we are often treated as though we are not allowed to feel badly about a loss or disappointment. Blogging allows us to purge those feelings of sadness, of loss, of loneliness, of "DAMN THIS SUCKS!" We all need that.

Second, I believe people write blogs because it's a way to know that we are not alone in our feelings, our losses, our disappointments. There are few people in real life to whom you can say "I feel sad and lonely. I am hurting." Most people, outside of therapists, have no idea how to react to that kind of statement. They get flustered and awkward because they don't know what to say. In the blog world, people take their time to compose comments to your feelings, comments of hope, love, and most of all, of connection. There is great comfort in hearing someone say "I understand" and then, in the rest of their comment, they go on to tell you exactly why they understand. And you know they do. You know they really, truly get it. There is such peace in knowing that.

There is also peace in knowing you are not alone. It is a joy to read a blog and say to yourself "Me too!" To realize how many times you have felt the way the blog writer is feeling, how many times you have hoped you are not alone in your feelings. And then, to read someone else so eloquently express what you have felt, what you have suffered with, what you have been hurt by...well, there is nothing better. I can only hope that my blog has done that for someone. Feeling understood, feeling accepted, feeling as though you are not a freak for what you think - those are powerful and soothing feelings.

We don't know everyone who reads our blogs and we never will. But someone, somewhere in the world is reading and thinking about how our words have, in some way, soothed their loneliness, their pain. And we are doing the same when we read someone else's words that seem to speak directly to us. That is not narcissism, it is kindness.

What we lose and what we gain

2010-12-03T20:19:00.002-06:00

This has been a difficult year. It has been a year of great losses and yet, tremendous gains. This week, I had a conversation with two different people at different times, both of whom said "This year has been hard. Next year will be better."

Those conversations made me think about what we lose and then, what we gain. A dear friend of mine lost a baby this year at nearly 20 weeks along. The baby had genetic defects that caused his death in utero. My friend got pregnant again two months later and miscarried that child as well. She is now pregnant again for the third time this year. She has two healthy boys already so she knows she can have healthy, beautiful children. And yet - there is always a cautious outlook whenever you have lost a child (or two). There is always a tightness in the chest, a feeling of "what if," but at the same time a feeling of incredible joy that a new life is on the way. We lose something and we gain something - a feeling of joy born of previous grief and hope.

Death has been a central theme this year for me and for many others I know. On November 30, my mother's best friend of more than 50 years, Becky (known to us as Beck), passed away. She had battled health problems for many years and passed peacefully in her sleep at the hospital. She was like a mother to me and her son is like a brother to me. Her son and I went to law school together and survived some tough times both in school and outside of it. I ache for him and for her daughter as well. They are both such amazing people. Her son is married and his wife is pregnant with what would have been Beck's first grandchild. We have lost her, but there is a child being formed by God right now whose grandmother is watching the formation, and will forever watch over this very special child. What we gain...

The death of our loved ones is always a tremendous loss. There are no words of comfort, nothing that can make it better, nothing that will bring us the peace we so desperately crave in those first few days. We do not get over it, we simply get used to it. There is always a tiny hole in our heart where that person has resided for the time they were in our lives. But we gain the strength of having survived their passing and of knowing there are others who are grieving with us. We gain the knowledge that they are watching us, guiding us in those subtle ways that we don't always connect with them, but that upon reflection we know can only be their work in our lives. What we gain...

Geeze people, no one died.

2010-11-13T07:33:00.002-06:00

Sigh. November has been tough and I am hoping that now that the first roughly (very rough in fact) two weeks of the month has passed, things will get better. It seems that everyone has had difficulties this month, with jobs, finances, school, family issues, and on and on. I fall into the categories of finances and school issues and many of my friends take up the others and/or the same categories.

Much of what has happened cannot be helped by any of us. It's out of our control. Some of it is/was in our control, but either way, I think it's important to address a topic that I have recently been thinking about: Sympathy.

Sympathy is a beautiful thing. It is what allows others to know we care about them and want to be there for them. It is also the thing that can drive a person completely and totally mad if not offered in the right way. There is nothing wrong with the basic response of "I'm sorry." There is, however, something wrong with the response of "OH MY GOD!! I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY" in either a loud voice or a soft whisper. That kind of "I'm sorry" should be reserved for death or major loss. Otherwise, they're just a little out of proportion, you know?

I know I'm not being very clear with this, so let me put it this way. Sometimes what a person needs in any given situation is something like this: "I'm sorry that happened. I am here for you. How are you feeling about it?" In other words, it's not made into a huge production (unless warranted - see above about death and/or loss), the sympathy is expressed, the offer of being there made, and then a discussion prompted about how the person is feeling.

Now, not everyone needs that sort of sympathy, but I am the type who does. Sometimes the time frame only allows for a quick "I'm sorry," but you can follow up later asking how someone is doing. I have found recently that a lot of people don't understand the type of support that is needed for a particular issue. Sometimes the person who has suffered the loss, whatever it might be, is really OK. It's those around that person who want to turn it into something catastrophic.

In my case, when I tell the people around me who do that, that it's not the type of support I need, they end up apologizing and going into practical hysterics about how they're so sorry they aren't supporting me the way I need them to and then I end up having to comfort them about not supporting me appropriately. WHAT. THE. HELL??

People, if someone tells you that you are not giving them the support they need, instead of freaking out and apologizing for that, how about just asking "What can I do for you, what do you need?" and REALLY listening to the answer and then doing it. Don't freak out and make your lack of support (in the way that particular person needed it) yet another thing for the person to deal with.

I really think there needs to be a class taught in every single grade about how to actively listen, how to appropriately respond to people either in crisis or who have had a minor setback, how to be sympathetic without being overwhelming, etc. That would be much more useful than learning about Catcher in the Rye. All that book taught us was not to be a disturbed prep school drop-out who picks up hookers named Sunny.

OK...so it may have taught us more than that, but you get my point.

Be Still

2010-10-21T23:19:00.001-05:00

To whom it may concern...

2010-10-18T20:36:00.003-05:00

Dear Ice Cream Makers,
Don't bother advertising that your ice cream is an excellent source of Vitamin C. I'm talking to you, Dreyer's Berry Rainbow Sherbet. Let's face it, that is not a selling point for anyone. No one buys ice cream products of any kind for their vitamin content.

Dear Co-Worker,
Keep your germs to yourself. I appreciate the doughnut you gave me the other day, but you could have stopped there. You didn't have to give me your cold too.

Dear People Who Suck,
Please stop sucking you wastes of oxygen. Your arrogant attitude, your selfishness, and your general jerk-like behavior is not appreciated by anyone.

Dear T-Mobile,
For eight years, I have loved thee. Why must you allow third-party sellers to offer your phones, but then you refuse to let those phones be returned at any T-Mobile store? So I guess it's OK if you make money from the third-party stores, but if a customer needs to return something, you're gone like yesterday's garbage? I still love you, but I'm moving more toward liking you as a friend because of this.

Relax

2010-10-05T11:01:00.000-05:00

Photo by Tracy Balcius

Going with the flow

2010-09-22T23:43:00.000-05:00

As of yesterday, I have been in San Antonio for a month. Seems weird to think I've been away from Houston that long. I have enjoyed my time here getting to care for Dad, but also getting to talk with him, watch movies with him, and just hang out with him. People should really consider just listening to their parents and being with them for a few days. You can learn a lot from them.

Dad is doing really well! We are walking every day as the doctor recommended and he's even driving again. He's eating healthy and has lost weight. I'm really proud of his recovery efforts!

Right now, my tentative return to Houston date is October 3. I am not looking forward to it to be honest. I have enjoyed getting to relax and not worry about schedules and such. It's just been me and my Dad along with the doggers and we plan our days out one day before or when we get up.

Nothing is set in stone and we can just go with the flow. So nice to be able to do that. But real life cannot be ignored as much as I wish it could be. I will be doing some work here before I leave so I won't feel so behind when I get back to Houston - answering e-mails, drafting some legal paperwork, and so on. Right now though, my bed beckons me. Good Night All!

Post for Pets! Thanks Pedigree!

2010-09-16T23:23:00.003-05:00

PEDIGREE will donate a bag of their new Healthy Longevity Food for Dogs to shelters nationwide for each person who mentions the Pedigree Adoption Drive in a blog. This ends on September 19th, 2010, so go to your blog and make a post. Oh, and read the rules here: Write a Post, Help a Dog!

It’s simple: Write a post, help a dog. Thursday, September 16 through Sunday, September 19, the Pedigree BlogPaws bloggers will host a Blog Hop, to help raise awareness for the “Write a post, help a dog” effort.

Some of this, some of that, a little bit of the other

2010-09-09T21:51:00.002-05:00

It's been a little over a week since Dad was released from the hospital and we are figuring out our routine. It's pretty laid back, but there are still things that have to be done every day. Dad has to walk for a few minutes a day outside so we make sure to do that. There are also breathing exercises that he does. Otherwise, we hang out, watch movies, talk, and just generally enjoy each others company.

It's never a good thing when someone has major surgery or is ill, but I believe everything happens for a reason and it has been good for both Dad and I to be able to relax and spend some time just doing this and that without having to adhere to a particular schedule. We will be seeing his surgeon and his cardiologist on Monday to assess where he's at and what needs to be done from here. We are both expecting good news.

In the meantime, there are things to be done. I will be driving to Victoria on Saturday for a mandatory practicum meeting. This was not something I knew I'd have to do. It came up just recently because there are issues to be discussed with all the students. Yes, there's a story there involving a professor who seems to be easily offended and lacks a sense of humor (in my estimation). It's best I say no more than that, but that should give you an idea. Why no, I am not happy about having to do this, why do you ask?

While I'm in Victoria, I will attend a colloquium series on body language. I'm required to attend two of the four they present during the semester and since they have one on Saturday and I have to be there, I figured I'd get it out of the way.

To close, here is my Random Thought of the Day: Placing a medical office next to Sonic is rather efficient. Once someone keels over from the delicious fatty, cholesterol-filled goodness of Sonic Tator Tots and or the chili dogs, they can just be carried about 10 feet to medical help. I'm not sure if that encourages eating said tots and/or chili dogs, but there it is.

San Francisco Saturday

2010-09-04T17:20:00.000-05:00

Released from Hospital Prison. Now on Cardiac Parole.

2010-08-30T23:18:00.002-05:00

Dad was released from the hospital today! He had quadruple bypass surgery on Aug. 24th and came through it with flying colors. We arrived at the hospital at 7 a.m., got him checked in, the paperwork completed, and they got him prepped and on the gurney. They wheeled him out and I was left to wait in the waiting room. The surgical nurse took my cell number and said she would call from the operating room to give me updates. Her name was Faith, which I took as a good omen.

They called me about 9:45 or so to let me know that they had opened his chest and retrieved the veins they would be grafting. After that, I didn't get another call until 11:45 or so. The time between calls was hard because I kept thinking that something had gone wrong and they were trying to fix it/waiting to tell me. I did a lot of praying in that waiting room. I breathed a sigh of relief when the call came around 11:45 telling me that things had gone well and they were closing him up.

I was beyond grateful that the hospital waiting room had free Wi-Fi service. It really helped to keep my mind off things and give me something to focus on, although my thoughts were never far from my Dad.

After the surgery, they took Dad to the SICU, which is the Surgical Intensive Care Unit. He was in so much pain, I felt terrible for him. The anesthesia was wearing off and he was in and out of consciousness. They removed the tube from his throat after a couple of hours and he started saying how much he hurt and that it had to get better because it could not get any worse. I wanted to cry. My Dad is not a big complainer about anything so if he was saying he was hurting, then he was really hurting! They gave him some meds and he drifted off to sleep. Thankfully, he doesn't remember any of the first few hours he was in recovery. I'm glad there are no memories of the pain.

The second day he was in the SICU, the left side of his jaw became numb and his face began swelling up. He looked like a chipmunk. The nurse said it was because of the air trapped in his chest that was moving up. Apparently, it's not uncommon after removing a chest tube for air to be trapped in the chest and to move into the face and get trapped there. They kept an eye on it. Speaking of eyes, Dad's left eye was swollen on the bottom and then the next day that had receded, but the eyelid was swollen. Poor guy couldn't win for losing as they say.

He was moved after a couple of days to a private room one floor down from the SICU. He continued to improve over the next few days, the swelling gradually going down. There was some concern about him retaining fluids so they gave him medication to deal with that. I stayed with him for several hours each day, then I would drive 30 miles back to his house for the evening. On Saturday, I decided to stay overnight with him in his room and that was an interesting experience.

He had fallen asleep in the recliner chair in his room and prior to drifting off he said it was the most comfortable he had been since being admitted to the hospital. I didn't want to ask him to move of course so I slept in the bed. The nurses came in every hour on the hour it seemed and they thought I was him since I was sleeping in the bed. I understand why they thought that, but I got almost no sleep since I was constantly directing them to the chair all night. I went home on Sunday and napped. That helped.

Of course, we were wondering when Dad might be released. The cardiologist and the surgeon were having a disagreement about when they would release him. It was supposed to be the cardiologist's call and he wanted my dad to stay through Tuesday and possibly Wednesday because of the air in his chest. The surgeon was saying he could go home on Monday.

Anyway, Dad was finally released today with several prescriptions to pick up. We stopped by the store and got the meds, then it was time to go home. Dad is resting comfortably in his own bed right now and I am hoping he gets some good sleep tonight. He really needs that after being in the hospital for six days where rest is impossible.

RanDAMNess

2010-08-24T10:25:00.003-05:00

Random thoughts, ideas, and things that have recently occurred. I do not promise logical segues between any of these things:

The other day, I got in my car to go to my practicum site. As I got ready to start the car, I saw a rather furry and scary looking spider on the windshield. Because there was the glass barrier between the spider and I, I got an up close and personal look at its anatomy, eyes, etc. Fascinating and creepy at the same time. Now, I am not a person who suffers from arachnophobia, but I didn't want to drive with the spider on my windshield. I have a thing about animals of all kinds - I like to do what I can to keep them safe.

So I got out of my car and looked on top of it for a small twig or something. My car gets parked under a tree so there is often a twig or something lying on the roof. What I saw on the roof was the shed skin of what looked like a praying mantis. WTF?? Creepy spider and praying mantis skin? Well, you do what you can. I don't even know if praying mantises shed skin, but whatever. I attempted to use the shed skin to scoot the spider away. The spider wasn't having it and ran down into my hood. Hey, I tried. Hopefully, it didn't get cooked by the engine.

My practicum supervisor has a reputation for leaving long, rambling voice mail messages telling the therapists/students what to do that day. We need to know what she wants, but these are long messages. Anyway, the other day, she left me the requisite long voice mail. About a minute later, she sent a text saying "Listen to voice mail." Uh. Yeah. I'll do that.

My dad is having bypass surgery today. Yesterday, we went to do pre-registration for him and I noticed that the TVs in the waiting room had the news channel on. It wasn't possible to change it as far as I could see. Seriously? People are there for heart issues, which is a stressful thing already and they have the news playing 24/7 in their waiting rooms? Well sure because more stress never hurt anyone. Maybe it's their way of making sure they stay in business.

And that is today's RanDAMNess.

Heartsick

2010-08-13T01:35:00.001-05:00

Last Saturday, Aug. 7, I awoke to find six missed calls on my cell phone from my Dad. He lives in San Antonio, which is about four hours from me. He never calls me that many times in one day unless it's really important. He also left two text messages saying he was in the hospital and to call him. Of course, I did so.

The short version of the story is that he thought he'd been having gas pain, but it moved into his chest so his doctor sent him to the hospital to have an angiography. That showed blockages in his heart so on Tuesday, Aug. 24, he will undergo a quadruple heart bypass surgery.

This news was shocking in many ways. My father is overweight, but despite that he has always been healthy. He takes vitamins, he sees his doctor on schedule every year for checkups, he has colonoscopies and other medical tests done as needed according to the schedule his doctor gives him. He is not one of those men who will never see a doctor. He's diligent about his health needs.

He was supposed to have a colonoscopy today (Friday) so I had planned to come up on Wednesday so I'd be here to take him to and from the hospital for that. Because of the impending heart surgery, the colonoscopy was canceled, but I still came up and will stay through Monday when Dad and I will see his cardiologist. I brought Peanut with me, which has been very helpful for both Dad and me. She gives tons of doggy love whenever needed.

I will go back to Houston on Monday. On Saturday, Aug. 21, I have to be in Victoria for a mandatory psychology seminar. I thought I wouldn't have to drive there again, but then I got the e-mail about having to attend that seminar. Le sigh. Anyway, I will go from Victoria to my Dad's house in San Antonio and the surgery will take place the following Tuesday.

I will be staying with him for at least two weeks following the surgery. I am lucky in that I can take this time off from my practicum site and still get the needed hours. There is never a good time for this sort of thing to happen, but if it had to happen, now worked out well for me in terms of being able to be here and take care of my Dad.

I am scared and so is he, but I am reassuring him and my friends are reassuring me so that works out well. All prayers and good thoughts are appreciated. My Dad is not only my parent, but also a best friend, confidante, savior, comforter...I love him so much.

Off Road

2010-08-04T17:02:00.000-05:00

I finished my classes this week, which means no more driving to Victoria twice a week! Over the course of the term, which is eight weeks long, I drove 4180 miles just going to school. The cost of gas was, well let's just say more than I might have liked it to be. I started thinking about buying a net and just driving out to the Gulf to collect some oil and make my own. I hear the Gulf has a lot of oil...

I have been pursuing my M.A. in Counseling Psychology since August 2007. In that time, I've had four semesters where I've had to drive to Victoria. It was always just once a week until this last semester, when I was doing it twice a week. The worst part of doing the drive twice a week was how wiped out I'd get. Driving to and from school on Mondays and Wednesdays and going to class would take up about eight hours. I had other things to do on those days as well so it made it very difficult.

I was lucky that I was able to carpool with a friend so that I drove to her on Mondays (110 miles round-trip) and she drove the rest of the way (190 miles round-trip) and then I would drive the whole way on Wednesdays after picking her up. That helped a lot, but it would still wipe me out to be gone that long and then have to get up the next day and get things done. I would get home at midnight and just be exhausted.

Now, that is done. I will have to drive to Victoria once this fall to take my comprehensive exam, which must be done on-site. I still have my practicum hours to complete for the summer term and then I will do a practicum in the fall and spring. That will finish the degree. WOO!! Looking forward to that.

Going loco, but sanity is around the corner!

2010-07-22T23:00:00.002-05:00

Although I changed my schedule to try and make July easier, it has still been very difficult. I am sleep deprived and generally fatigued in all areas of life. August will be easier because I will be done with driving to Victoria twice a week for classes. I have three more classes, the last being August 2. I have enjoyed the class very much and I love my classmates, but I will be relieved to be able to stop driving and have that time free, not to mention saving a ton of money on gas.

I will continue my practicum through August, but I will have more time to spend at the hospital thanks to not having to go to class so I should be able to finish my summer hours quickly. I am hoping to have at least a one-week break between the end of my summer practicum and the start of the fall practicum. We shall see how that goes.

In the meantime, I am catching sleep where I can. Tonight, I took a three-hour nap. I just needed the sleep. It helped a lot. I will be up for the next few hours working on a paid project that I need to complete by tomorrow if possible, although I fear it may be Monday before it's in the shape I want it to be in. Once I have completed this project, I will have a major weight off my shoulders. Next week, I will be finishing up my practicum papers. Still crazy busy, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Going Batty is Just Ducky!

2010-07-11T23:39:00.003-05:00

This weekend was spent resting and doing things at home. Last weekend was spent with bats, ducks, and my Dad! I drove up to San Antonio on Thursday evening and met my Dad at Bill Miller's, our favorite BBQ spot. We headed back to his house and watched Shutter Island on DVD. It was AMAZING! Such an incredible movie with a great twist at the end.

Friday found my Dad taking my car to get the oil changed and two new tires put on. Poor Dad had no idea he'd be driving all around San Antonio to get that done. He went to the dealership, but they had no openings for oil changes, so he went to get the oil changed, then tires and finally back to the dealer to check on a warranty issue with the car. My Dad is awesome, he takes such great care of me and my car. While he was doing that, I was doing homework.

Friday night, we headed over to the Harlequin Dinner Theatre to see Smokey Joe's Cafe, a musical revue of songs from the 50s and 60s. It was fantastic! The singers were great and the performances as a whole were wonderful. I love the Harlequin Dinner Theatre, it's always a fun way to spend an evening. Good food, good shows.

Saturday, we headed to Austin to spend some time with ducks, bats, and BBQ. Our first stop was the Austin Visitor's Center on Sixth Street to check in on our activities and then we had a drink at Darwin's Pub - a soda for Dad and a Shirley Temple for me. Had a great chat with the bartender there and then headed over to Salt Lick BBQ. Dad and I had been wanting to try it and it was excellent! Such good food.

After that, we were ready to spend some time with the ducks. My Dad was wearing his Oregon Ducks Dad t-shirt. I'm an alum of the University of Oregon and his wearing the shirt was a fun coincidence. We boarded the bus for the Austin Duck Tours! We were given duckbill whistles that made duck sounds that we were able to use and keep. They matched my Dad's shirt perfectly! We had a great tour of Austin and then headed to Lake Austin to take a tour of the lake. The bus we drove around town in was also a boat so we just drove right into the water. It was SO amazing! I love the water and miss it since I used to live within walking distance of the Pacific Ocean.

We headed over to the Hilton Hotel and had a drink while waiting for our Bat Watching Tour! In Austin, there is a huge colony of bats that fly out from under Congress bridge at night from March - October. We had a tour of Lady Bird Lake and then waited for the bats. It was really amazing to see the bats flying out from under the bridge. It's something I had wanted to do for quite some time. Such a great experience to watch nature do its thing like that. I have to wonder what the bats think having all those people cheering around them when they are just doing what they normally do.

We headed back to San Antonio and watched a couple of movies, one of which was Mr. Wong, Detective. It's an old black and white movie made in 1938. I love those old movies and my Dad and I are both mystery fans so we love watching films like that.

We ended the fun weekend with a visit to Mimi's Cafe for an excellent turkey dinner. I needed a nap after that and then I had to head home. I love hanging out with my Dad and we always have the best time so I didn't want to come back to Houston, but I had to get back to all the not-so-fun responsibilities. I'm looking forward to the next time I get to hang with Dad!

Kicking the bucket? Not now, maybe later.

2010-07-04T23:10:00.001-05:00

So last month nearly killed me and although there have been times that grad school has made me pray for death, it would be terribly inconvenient to kick the bucket right now. Given that, I had to get a plan to make things easier or at least more manageable than they had been before.

I started by looking at the things I absolutely have to do - attend class, babysit, and get my practicum hours. I got out a July calendar and decided that I need to cut down on the hours I am working at the psychiatric hospital (my practicum hours) so I can fit everything else in without going on a major killing spree and possibly ending up in the hospital myself. I decided to work three days a week at the hospital for a total of 15 hours a week.

I am not working on Mondays because I have to drive to class that day so I am giving myself a break instead of working at the hospital from 9 - 2 and then driving to class right after that, getting home at midnight and getting up the next day to go into the hospital again at 8:30. Now, I am working 12-4 on Tuesdays/Thursdays (the day after my long drives to class) and then 9 - 5 on Fridays. I may adjust that slightly to working 12-5 and 9-2 or something like that, but basically that will be the schedule.

This allows me to not have to be so tired that I once again try to perfect sleeping one eye at a time so that I can close one eye and still do things with the other. That has never worked, but I continue to have hope because it would be handy to be able to rest one eye at a time. Anyway...

In the name of stress relief, I have also decided to get my second paper for my practicum class finished in advance. I will be doing that over the next three weeks so that when it is due in August, I will have it ready to go without scrambling to finish it as I had to do with the first paper this week. On Wednesdays, I will be babysitting from 9 - 2 p.m. and I can use some of that time to get my paid work done. While the kids are perfecting their Mario Kart skills or making pipe bombs in the garage or whatever it is that they do, I can be doing the technical writing work that I need to complete.

OK folks...we have a plan. I'll let you know if it works out. If it doesn't, please come visit me in the psych ward. And bring some Peanut M&Ms. I love those.

Killer Week

2010-06-26T21:32:00.000-05:00

This has been a killer week. I started my practicum training and in this week, I have done the following:

Met patients at the psychiatric hospital where I am working.
Led and observed group therapy for said patients.
Learned the documentation system at the hospital (unreal how much paperwork there is and the detail it must contain).
Learned Nonviolent Physical Crisis Intervention techniques should I be attacked in any way by patients (and yes, that does happen).
Drove to Victoria on Monday and Wednesday for class returning home around midnight and then getting up the next day to work a full-day at the hospital.
Babysat the twins x 2 for four hours.
Logged into my practicum class for the hour-long discussion that is required every week.

I am sure I did some other things in there too, but I can't recall them at the moment. I was so exhausted this week that on Thursday evening, I went to bed at 7 p.m. I NEVER do that. I am a night owl and always have been, but I was just wiped out. I am hoping to tailor my schedule this month so that my practicum works around my classes in that on the days following my classes and long drives, I can do my practicum in the afternoon instead of going there in the morning after only getting 5/6 hours of sleep.

July promises to be just as busy as this month since I will be babysitting the twins x 2 every single Wednesday and some other random days throughout the month as well. I am also looking to complete a paid technical writing project I've been working on. Still, if I can tailor my practicum schedule to work around those class days, that will help A LOT!

Keeping your own counsel or, in plain terms, SHUT UP!

2010-06-13T12:40:00.001-05:00

Here recently, I've given some thought to the idea that people just need to shut up. That statement can apply to people in so many ways so let me explain what I mean:

Keep your own counsel. I am sometimes amazed by the number of people who are unable to do this. Keeping your own counsel just means keeping your business/thoughts to yourself instead of blabbing everything to anyone who will listen and then wondering why your reputation/credibility has been trashed. There is nothing wrong with talking to friends or family or other trusted people about certain things, but what I am talking about is people who spread their lives EVERYWHERE, who tell people they are going to do things and then never do them. That just leads to trouble and should not be done.

For example, if you are planning on making a major life change such as going back to school, losing weight, moving somewhere, leaving a job, etc., it's a good idea NOT to tell everyone until you have plans in place or have made some progress toward the goal. The reason for this is because people will then expect you to complete the goal or at least be seriously working toward it.

They will ask you how things are going with the plans to return to school, to move, they will want to know how the diet is going, and so on. If you are a person who announces everything you are thinking of doing to the world via Facebook or what have you and you are the type who is all talk and no action, then you are going to have a serious problem with credibility at this point. No one will believe you're going to do anything and they will respond to all future proclamations with "Huh. Whatever."

You will have no credibility at all and no support from anyone for anything you really do eventually accomplish because you've already set yourself up for people to think you are just blowing hot air. AGAIN.

It really is OK to keep things to yourself. Sometimes it's hard to do that when you're excited about something, but it's necessary, otherwise you will have issues like the ones I describe above. Don't do that to yourself. Find one or two trusted friends to talk to and share your plans with. You can also share any obstacles in the plans with those people, but for the love of all that is good and true, STOP sharing with the world.

It's surprising how much better you feel when you keep things to yourself until your plans are in place. It's so much easier for both you and your friends/family to get excited about something when it's already in the works as opposed to you just saying you're going to do something. Try it.

Flexible Life

2010-06-01T23:09:00.011-05:00

Life has been very, very busy. Recently, a former employer asked me to do some projects for her company. It is the same kind of work I did when I was with the company a year ago. I loved the job and the people so I'm glad to be working with them again. My hours are flexible and I do a lot of my work from home so that is a plus. There is no other way I could do it since I am starting my field work and taking a class this summer. Right now, my life needs to be flexible since there's a lot to pack into it.

Speaking of classes, school started this week. My practicum will require me to work on site (at a hospital for the mentally ill/chemical dependent), but I also have to log in to a online site once a week on Tuesday nights to talk about the practicum with my professor and my classmates. I did that tonight for the first time. I will drive to Victoria tomorrow afternoon for my first in-person class this term.

I got a bit of a reprieve in the busyness of this month. I was going to babysit the twins x two every Wednesday in June and July. That was going to make for some incredibly long days on Wednesdays. However, their mother decided to put them in a day camp for June so I will not be sitting for them except for three random days this month. I will sit for them in July on Wednesdays, but this will allow me to settle into my classes this month with one less thing to do. That helps.

I am hoping to finish the divorce case this month that I've been working on. I'm having the other party served this week and I will have to see what happens at that point, but I am hoping said party will get a grip and move on. This is a simple case and does not need to be dragged out this way. Keep your fingers crossed!

I am starting back to the gym tomorrow and I am really excited about that because I always feel better when I am working out. Any stress in my life is relieved on the treadmill and the elliptical. Thank God for my iPod, I think I'd go insane without it. Cranking up the music and working up a sweat is its own brand of refuge.

Full plate. Really, it's more like a buffet.

2010-05-16T01:24:00.002-05:00

I thought I would have some downtime after I finished winter term on May 4th. Not so. Summer term starts June 1 and I had hoped to be able to catch up on sleep and get some things done before starting what will be a grueling eight weeks this summer. I will be driving to Victoria twice a week - Mondays and Wednesdays.

I will also be babysitting the two sets of twins every Wednesday this summer from 9 a.m. - 2 p.m. and then I will drive the 2.5 hours to school, attend class from 6 - 8:45 p.m. then drive the 2.5 hours home. Wednesdays will be rough, but it's a sacrifice worth making to complete this degree.

Still, it will be hard so I had hoped that the break would be quiet, but things keep popping up to do, places to go, people to see. I babysat the twins a couple of times in the past two weeks, had a job interview, babysat a friend's 2-year-old little girl all day, scheduled and took a drug test for the hospital where I will be doing my summer field work, and attended a relative's birthday party. This coming week, I will be attending a meeting at UH, helping a friend with her resume, seeing a friend for dinner, and attending a book club meeting.

Although there is a lot on my plate, I am grateful for it all. I feel blessed to have friends to visit, to have the opportunity to do my field work this summer, to help mothers with their children by giving them the peace of mind that comes with knowing their children are safe and taken care of.

That said, the week following this one is empty at the moment. I hope it stays that way.

Divorces, Blood, and a Post Office

2010-04-28T23:35:00.000-05:00

Today was quite possibly the most productive day I've had in quite awhile. I got in late last night from Victoria because I talked to a classmate for awhile after my night class and that put me behind on my driving. I got up early this morning, still tired since I only got about five(ish) hours of sleep. I finished up some legal paperwork and headed out to Panera Bread to meet up with some friends I hadn't seen for awhile.

Following that, I made the 30-minute drive to downtown Houston to file the paperwork. I sat around in the family law courthouse filing room patiently waiting my turn and finally, I was called to contribute to the mass of dead trees that ends up in file folders at the courthouse. As I exited the family law courthouse, I saw a sign for a blood drive taking place at the Civil Courthouse.

I had been wanting to give blood for quite awhile. I had been doing it quarterly a couple of years ago before they told me my trip to Jamaica had possibly tainted me seeing as how I could be a carrier of the dreaded malaria and therefore wouldn't be allowed to donate for a year. Well, that was two years ago so I figured that since I hadn't keeled over of malaria yet, I was probably OK.

I headed into the courthouse and made my way to the 17th floor where I went through the whole administrative thing of filling out the paperwork and such. I was then led over to the vampire table whereupon it was discovered that my veins were being all kinds of lazy and refusing to show up for the party. They finally did coax one of them out of hibernation and I proceeded to let them drain me.

After that, I made my way back to the burbs where I had lunch with a friend. I then headed out to the courthouse near me to file the paperwork for the ticket I received in December after my car accident. The ticket was dismissed since I had jumped through the hoops of taking defensive driving and what not.

A trip to the post office followed where patience was a virtue what with the playing out of the cliche of one postal clerk at the counter and 100 people in line. After standing in line long enough to knit sweaters for all the children in Afghanistan, I finally was able to mail my stuff and head home. It feels good to have gotten so much done today, but I will definitely be doing nothing tomorrow except staring at the ceiling all day if my eyes can manage to stay open.

Busy, Babysitting, and Bandobast

2010-04-23T09:48:00.006-05:00

April has been one of the busiest months in a very long time for me. In addition to driving to and from school and doing the homework, I've also been filling my time with a divorce case and babysitting. I've started working for a woman with two sets of twins. They are all boys, ages 8 and 6. I have so much fun with them! They have tons of energy and we play games like Guess Who, Go Fish, and Chutes and Ladders. We toss the football, kick the soccer ball around and just have a good time. Still, it takes time and energy.

I will be starting my field work this summer and I had to search out a work site for myself, which took a few weeks of calling, leaving messages, and waiting for return calls. I finally found a site and took a tour of it yesterday. I had to fill out the paperwork and all that administrative stuff. I then headed out to babysit the twins times two. I've sat for them several times this month.

In addition to that, I attended a meeting of the committee I sit on at UH. It was a rather contentious meeting with a lot of issues to be discussed. All of these things has left me exhausted. As I write this, I am babysitting the 2-year-old daughter of a friend of mine. She's a doll (the friend and the daughter), but I am looking forward to some free time this afternoon and tomorrow. Although I have things to do at home, I don't have to go anywhere again until Sunday (when I will babysit the twins x two again) so I plan to catch up on my sleep and just rest in general. I really need to do that to recharge myself for the coming week when things will be less busy than they were last week, but still busy enough.

April? Already?? How did that happen?

2010-04-04T23:25:00.015-05:00

It's been a very busy year. I can't believe it's already April, but it is. Seems like it went by fast, but so much has happened. I can't even start to talk about all of it so I'll just recap the last week or so. It started with a musical weekend:

Saturday, March 27, I drove up to San Antonio and hung out with my dad for the weekend. We went to Harlequin Dinner Theatre for a show called "Listen to the Music." It was a rendition of 70s music from local singers. They were really great and we both loved listening to the songs and singing along.

Sunday, March 28, we headed out to a show at the Aztec Theatre called San Antonio Rose L ive. It was wonderful!! Again, local singers put on a show of classic country music. They were excellent and so much fun to listen to those old songs. The Aztec Theatre is worth visiting just for the architecture. It is Aztec architecture of course and so amazing. It's like being in a museum.

Monday, March 29, we left my car at the dealership to have a general check-up and headed to Alice in Wonderland in 3D. SO COOL! I loved it. After that, we picked up Cricket (my car) and headed over to TGI Friday's. My dad had never eaten there so I told him he needed to try it. I think he liked it. After that, we went home and watched C harlie Chan movies and Hercule Poirot. My dad and I share a love of mysteries so we both enjoyed that!

Tuesday, March 30, we had Bill Miller's BBQ and I headed out to Victoria for school. It was a great weekend and I had such a good time. I really needed that time to hang out with my dad and just have fun. My dad has been such an amazing support to me. No matter what I need or want to do, he is there for me and that means so much. He has kicked in quite a bit financially over the years, but more than that, he lets me know he believes in me and that setbacks are only temporary. You cannot put a price on that kind of love and support.

The rest of the week was filled with resting, errands, and getting ready for my mid-term, which I will be taking tomorrow. I am also heading to Victoria tomorrow afternoon to meet with my classmate and get a class project completed for Tuesday. Being busy is better than being dead. I keep telling myself that. :)

Because we all need the reminder sometimes...

2010-03-23T10:32:00.003-05:00

I Joined - Have you?

2010-03-17T15:40:00.001-05:00

Wistful

2010-03-13T01:08:00.005-06:00

It's been a long week. I'm feeling rather wistful these days. I can't describe exactly what I mean by that, it's a private feeling, but it's there. I have a sense of time passing by so quickly. I went to the University of Houston campus today and as always, I was struck by a sense of my life in pieces. It has been almost five years since I graduated from the law school there. It seems like such a short time ago, but it was a different lifetime altogether for me. The same is true when I think about college and some of the jobs I have had in my life. It was a different time and I was a different person.

It's a good thing to reflect on how much I have grown personally through the years. There is so much I have done, learned, felt, and experienced. And there is so much more I want to do in all of those categories. I have plans for the future and I am so eager to execute them. They will have to wait for now, but I look forward to all the amazing things that are forthcoming. Reflecting on the past tends to make one think of the future and remember that there is so much more to do and I am stronger, braver, and more ready now to go forward than I have ever been.

Streaming

2010-03-03T22:43:00.002-06:00

Reprieve

2010-02-25T08:58:00.023-06:00

Life has been very busy lately, but I received a reprieve this week in the form of bad weather. Most people dislike bad weather (you know, snow, sleet, rain, hail), but I actually like it. Provided I am in my cozy, heated abode surrounded by my dogs rather than out in said bad weather, I like it. It allows me to relax and feel comforted, all nestled in at home.

This week, the bad weather allowed me to stay nestled in at home instead of making the drive to Victoria for class on Tuesday night. My professor canceled class because the weather was not good when the Houston contingent would be making the drive and it was slated to be even worse when class let out and we'd all be making the drive home. So there was a reprieve this week and some extra time to do things at home and relax. For those of you in Oregon, the drive from Houston to Victoria is basically like driving from Portland to Brookings every single week. The total miles are just about the same.

The reprieve that I received allowed me to realize just how exhausting that drive is. Not having to do it this week made a difference in a number of ways. I got a lot done on Tuesday evening for one thing and for another, Wednesday was so much easier. I usually sleep in on Wednesday mornings because I get home around 11:30 p.m. on Tuesday night so I am tired. This week though, I was up on Wednesday running errands and getting things done. It was a good feeling to have that energy.

Lately, I've been trying to do things that simplify my life. I stole an idea from my friend, Liz, over at her blog: your life. simplified. I went to law school with Liz and she is truly one of the sweetest, smartest women I know. She practiced law for awhile before becoming a career counselor and finally moving on to start her own organizing business. I loved the idea she had in her blog for using a scrapbooking tote as a way of organizing correspondence. I used a gift certificate I received for Christmas to buy the tote and it's been SO nice to have all my stationary in one place that I can take with me wherever I go.

Something else I've done to simplify my life is download audio books from the local library. I had no idea this could be done until I went to the library site in search of audio books. I was going to see what they had available in their catalog and then stop by the library to pick them up. It turns out the local public library has gone all digital on us! You can download audio books to your iPod or other player or your computer. You can even burn some of them to disc. They have the permission of the publisher to let you do so. Who knew?? I downloaded a simple application that is needed to make it work (it's free and doesn't take up much space). You can "check them out" for two weeks and after that time, the files no longer work. If you've burned them to disc, I suppose you can keep them forever, but I don't care to do that. I just wanted to listen to them for the drive.

I downloaded the unabridged version of The Time Traveler's Wife (TTW) by Audrey Niffenegger and Family T ree (FT) by Barbara Delinsky. I've started listening to TTW already and it's fairly interesting. I love Delinsky and have read several of her other books so I'm looking forward to starting that one as well. Although I've been using the Internet for years, it still amazes me how much can be done and how much time can be saved with it.

Enjoying God's Work

2010-02-18T16:20:00.002-06:00

Down by the Sea

2010-02-16T10:05:00.001-06:00

Home

2010-02-13T00:35:00.004-06:00

This photo comes from a beach near my hometown of Brookings, Oregon.

Peace in the Middle of the Busy

2010-02-11T09:57:00.000-06:00

Life has been busy lately. I guess it's always busy in varying degrees. I turned 34 on February 4th. It's hard for me to believe sometimes that I'm approaching my mid-30s. I don't have issues with aging like some other women do, it's just amazing to think that time is passing so quickly. It's been 15 years since I graduated high school, 11 years since I graduated college, and five years since I graduated law school. Time is flying by. I feel good about what I've accomplished in my life this far and there are so many other things I want to do. The future is looking bright!

One of those future goals is to become a practicing therapist. To that end, every Tuesday afternoon I drive to Victoria, Texas, which is 300 miles round-trip. It's a long haul because I make the drive in one day. I drive there, sit through class for 2 hours 45 minutes and then drive home. I usually make it home around 11:30 at night. Books on CD help a lot. I finished listening to The Lovely Bones last night. It was an incredible book and very life affirming. The book contained many lessons - how to move on after a tragic event, how to keep living while you're moving on, and how to honor the past, but look to the future. A beautiful story with so much meaning. I need to find a new book to listen to for next Tuesday.

I am very close to finishing school. I am taking Techniques of Therapy right now and am filling out the paperwork so I can start my practicum (field work) this summer. It's exciting to be doing something I love so much and that brings together everything I've done before.

Other than school and being excited about meeting some of my goals, I am getting things done at home too. My to-do list is always long, but today I started crossing things off it. It feels good to be able to do that. Some of it is simply housework, while other things take more thought and time. Still, I am getting them done.

On another note, thank you to everyone who has commented on the photos I've been posting. These are pictures I randomly find on the Internet while searching for other things or just looking at photos in general. I love pictures that bring instant calm to me and I post those in hopes that they will also bring peace and calm to my blog friends.

Natural Beauty

2010-02-03T10:51:00.003-06:00

Calm

2010-01-30T09:44:00.001-06:00

Psychology and Some Lovely Bones

2010-01-27T00:31:00.006-06:00

Last week was very busy and the first half of this one was as well. It was all good stuff, but it kept me on the run. I started classes for the semester and that has me driving to Victoria again. It's a rough drive sometimes, but I have some audio books and I made a CD of music to listen to while driving. I also have The Lovely Bones unabridged version on CD. I can't wait to listen to it.

I drove to Victoria yesterday and am staying overnight here. It's actually nice sometimes to be in a hotel, away from home, because I can have some quiet, uninterrupted time to get things done that are harder to do at home with all the distractions of laundry, cleaning, etc. This was the second class I've attended this semester and I think I'm really going to like it. It's interesting and I feel as though I am really learning things that are practical and helpful to my future career.

I will be driving home in the morning and the rest of this week looks to be fairly calm, which is good because I have some things to get done that have been sitting on the to-do list for awhile.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-01-20T23:00:00.002-06:00

On the Road Again

2010-01-15T11:20:00.013-06:00

After the Merry Crashmas of 09, I had to find a new ride. The insurance company was quick to assess the damage and total my car. Not a surprise considering it was 10 years old and had over 100,000 miles on it. I had the car for 7 years though and it was a bit of a downer to have to give it up even though it was time. I started law school with that car (having gotten it in 2002), graduated law school with that car, and got my first legal job with that car. So, there were a lot of memories associated with it. Still, it is always a good thing to make a change once in awhile so a new and different car was needed.

My father, who lives just outside San Antonio and is a very good bargain shopper for everything under the sun, found a 2008 Kia Rio on a lot in San Antonio. I took the Greyhound bus to San Antonion on January 2 to collect the new Frogmobile (Frogmobile II?). I signed the paperwork and drove my new-to-me car off the lot. It's weird, but in a good way, to have a different car especially since I was so used to my old one, but I LOVE IT! I'm back on the road again.

Continuing on that topic, I will start driving to Victoria again for school on Tuesday. My classes are Tuesday evenings, which is going to make for long nights on Tuesdays driving back, but it is worth it. I am very close to finishing this degree. I am taking Techniques of Therapy this semester and then next semester, I will start my practicum (field work) classes. I will take three practicums and also a class on Group Therapy and then I will be done. WOO! Look for me in a cap and gown in Spring 2011! :)

Other than getting back on the road again, which was huge in and of itself, there is nothing earth shattering going on in my life. And that is a good thing. I need a little calm after the year-long storm that was 2009. I have a great feeling about 2010. I started it in a new vehicle and this will be the year I finish almost all my classes with one to be taken in Spring 2011. Yup, it's going to be a great year!

A Thousand Words

2010-01-06T02:14:00.004-06:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2010-01-01T23:50:00.005-06:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I stole this cool graphic from my dear friend, Jaime.

Merry Crashmas!

2009-12-29T01:41:00.020-06:00

I haven't blogged in 10 days not because I had nothing to say, but because there was much to be done before the holidays so blogging got shoved to the back burner. What also got shoved to the back (though to the engine and not the burner) was the radiator in my car. On the Tuesday before Christmas, my car decided that it wanted to rearrange the engine compartment by hydroplaning and crashing into the car in front of me. Just a quick note - that is a good way to rearrange the engine compartment should you need to do that.

The hood of my car was dented, the lights pulled out, and the radiator pushed in toward the engine. I am grateful that the hydroplaning occurred after I had braked at a light so there wasn't a great deal of speed involved. I am also grateful that I was not hurt at all and that the car in front of me wasn't damaged nor was the driver injured at all. I have wonderful family and friends, all of whom checked up on me after I posted about the accident on Facebook. Thank you all!

I was cited for failure to control speed and my car was towed. Dear Husband picked me up and I returned home to concentrate on the upcoming holiday. Christmas was low-key and a lot of fun. We spent Christmas Eve with the in-laws and then Christmas Day found us at home with my Dad, who had come from San Antonio on Wednesday. We opened gifts in the morning. The doggers received coats from my mother in Oregon. They wore them all day and loved it because it was cold out so it was like having a permanent blanket for them.

Later in the afternoon, we had a delicious turkey dinner with all the trimmings. Dear Husband's friend, Brad, came over to enjoy the dinner with us and my friend, Angel, joined us later in the evening. We had a fun night of dessert and games. We played Apples to Apples, and Scruples. Both games were a lot of fun and a great way to spend the evening with friends and family.

Saturday found Dear Husband helping a friend so Dad and I headed to the movies to see Sherlock Holmes. It was FANTASTIC! Dad and I are both huge fans of Sherlock Holmes and all mysteries really so it was awesome to see the movie with him. We finished the afternoon with lunch at WhatABurger and Dad then headed home to San Antonio. It was so nice to have him here for the holidays. I enjoy spending time with my Dad.

Since Saturday, I've been slowly returning the house to its pre-holiday state. I am putting away decorations, gifts, etc. I didn't put up a lot of decorations this year so that makes clean-up a little easier. We are getting ready for a wonderful new year and I cannot wait!

Random Thoughts: Round II

2009-12-18T21:53:00.014-06:00

As promised in my last blog, here are Random Thoughts: Round II.

Last night, I was listening to a CD on my portable DVD player. It cut off at one point and I didn't understand why. I turned it off and back on - you know, the standard solution for any electronics problem - and that didn't work. So I took the CD out and put it back in, still nothing. I was thinking it was broken. That's when I realized the problem. It wasn't plugged in. Yeah...it had been working off the battery, which had died. Not being plugged in...I hear that's a common problem. :)

Yesterday morning when I woke up, I had to pee, which is usually the case in the morning. I didn't want to get out of the cozy, warm bed to go to the bathroom so I figured I could just hold it and catch an hour or so more of sleep. Yeah...that has never, ever worked in the past. Why is it that every single morning I have that exact same thought like somehow my body is finally going to say "Sure, hold it for awhile, no problem."

I find it interesting how a group of strangers can find solidarity while waiting in line at the post office. One guy will mention that more postal workers are needed to deal with the line and the rest of the group will pipe up and join the crusade. Before you know it, you have 14 people of all different ages, nationalities, and religions joining in the fight. This also occurs at banks and in airport lines.

I think it should be an unwritten rule of the universe that no one is allowed to die on major holidays or on their family members' birthdays. How much would it suck to have Uncle Gary keel over on Christmas Day? Sort of removes the whole peace on earth, joy to the world theme, you know? I once read a story about a man whose young daughter was murdered on his birthday. I'm thinking that day has lost all meaning for that man, which is very sad.

With the advent of cell phones, Facebook, and e-mail, it amazes me how many people still have trouble communicating with others in a timely manner. This happens in business and personal relationships. Is it really so hard to send even a one or two line e-mail acknowledging receipt of something? I was talking to a friend of mine who said she had sent some questions to a business associate who expects her to have a project completed by a certain deadline, but apparently the business associate can't bother to answer her e-mail in a timely manner. I don't get it. At least acknowledge you've received the questions and give a time line of when you can answer them or something. A message in a bottle has a faster delivery than some people with access to computers and Blackberries.

That is all, for now. I am sure Random Thoughts: Round III will make an appearance before the year is out or shortly thereafter.